When I was a little girl, my mom taught me to ignore the annoying kids in my class, and maybe then they'd get bored and go away. As a strategy, it worked fairly well. Certainly, the parents and teachers loved my "adult approach" to problems.
By the time I was in third grade, I was such a good little two-shoes that the teacher, Mrs. Z, put me in the seat between two of the most disruptive goof-offs in class. Both named Aaron. Problem was that they were funny and interesting, and the conversations that went on behind my head weren't always that easy to ignore. I tell you, bad boys just have more fun.
In sixth grade, a boy with a really tough life figured he could out-annoy my tactic of "ignore and avoid." And eventually, he was right. I caught the attention of a teacher and explained the challenge I was having with locker-access between classes, since JO was always there to slam the locker shut for me again. When the teacher explained to JO that his homeroom teacher was my dad... Well, he left me alone after that. And I continued to ignore him.
In eighth grade, a different boy went straight from annoy to abuse. And no matter how hard I ignored him, I still went home from school every day with extra bruises. Eventually I again approached a teacher for help. This time it took a while, but eventually the kid's parents decided it was in his best interests to pretend I didn't exist, and I was allowed to get on with my life. We both worked hard to ignore and avoid each other for the whole four years of high school, where we both played violin in Orchestra class every day.
My first serious boyfriend was in high school... And he often forgot to show up for our planned dates and get-togethers and such. He often ignored my phone calls, too. I worked very hard to ignore the things I didn't like in our relationship because I wanted to succeed with him the same way I'd learned to succeed in school as a little girl. His other girlfriend-- when I found out about her-- was a bit harder to overlook. So I decided to ignore them both.
Add six years, a different guy, a wedding... and you have my marriage. In which I learned to ignore my own needs, my feelings, and my right to be treated with respect. Because that was the only way my marriage was going to succeed. And I didn't want to be the bad guy. Ignore the annoyance-- the way the boy in the seat next to you is goofing off and making bad choices in his life and generally distracting you from your work and your goals-- and it'll stop. Right?
So here I am. Knowing already that I am not Cinderella (in other words, no magic wand or prince charming to make it all better)... And I am facing the fact (again) that my most-used coping mechanism for things that bother/annoy/frustrate me... is to ignore them, and hope they go away. Some life skill. It didn't work in my marriage. It sure isn't working on my financial and job woes. Or on my cat's arthritis, come to that. And it's all gotten a bit over my head, really... But the thing I just tripped over is the realization that there's no teacher to go to for help on this one... And the last few teachers (or Argmy Commanders) I went to weren't always that helpful in the situation anyway.
So now I'm thinking--
Maybe we should teach little girls Aikido or Brazilian Ju-Jitsu, and encourage them to confront life's frustrations HEAD-F*ING-ON!! Because we sure aren't doing them any favors by training them to believe that being nice and pretending the problem doesn't exist will make everything in their life okay.
I'm just saying is all...
Showing posts with label Tools. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tools. Show all posts
Saturday
Wednesday
At the Root
I've been working to strengthen my Root Chakra lately. (Strength is important-- particularly when you've got a cat lying on your arms and you're trying to type.) It has been a roller-coaster couple of weeks, and the timing for having my Root Chakra nice and strong couldn't be better.
Calamity comes in all shapes and sizes, and a bunch of my dear friends have been faced with one calamity or another in the past week or two. And it's a relief to support them all without having to also feel all their pain for them. I used to take on other folks' emotions-- still do sometimes-- but at this point, I've done enough work as a Life Coach/Tarot Reader to be able to separate what *I* am feeling on my own behalf from what I am feeling on SOMEONE ELSE'S behalf.
And so I was tired from all the energy I (gladly) used in support of my friends coping with life-crisis stuff... but I wasn't emotionally overwhelmed or incapacitated by all the grief. And I'm really proud of myself for that.
The Root Chakra, by the way, is the one in charge of our connection with the Earth, our sense of security and belonging, our financial and physical well-being, our safety, our solidity in whatever we are trying to accomplish with our lives, and how well-grounded we are in the way we cope with challenges and with daily life. The Root Chakra is set up and nourished the most strongly in the first two years of our lives. It is the First Chakra, and it is the foundation on which all other Chakra work is done. If your Root Chakra isn't strong, its hard for the rest of you to be strong. Each chakra has a purpose in relation to the others-- and in relation to our life-patterns. And each chakra has a specific "right" attached to it-- like the right to fair representation, only that isn't one of them. For the Root Chakra, you have the right to be here; and the right to have.
It was a weird sort of awareness for me to realize that I've spent most of my life working really hard to make other people look good, and help other people achieve their dreams/goals/successes. And I've spent the last several years not really believing I had a right to my own success, or to use my skills and experiences and abilities to make MYSELF look good. No wonder it's been so hard to find a good-paying job. I never felt like I deserved one!
This whole awareness process started with my SisterSpirit Journaling Group. This session, we are devoting a whole month to each of our chakras. So we started by journaling about our interaction with the Root Chakra's particular meaning and how it shows up in our lives... And since my Instructor says that the Root Chakra is the most solid, and thus takes the most time to really shift or change out of its current form, she gave us the homework of thinking/writing/doing yoga in connection with our Root Chakra every day for the whole month until our next Journaling Group meeting in May.
Now, I know I've been having Root Chakra issues. And reading about my right to have (as in-- have respect, have a safe & secure home, have a good-paying job that I love, have a relationship with someone who really appreciates me, etc) well, it really sank in that I have some foundation work to do-- some Root work, if you will. I've made a point of focusing on that stuff for a few minutes every day. And I can feel the difference. I'm a lot better grounded than I was a few weeks ago. Thank goodness, considering all the challenges that have come up since then.
Even the visit to the Family Farm couldn't have been better-timed. OH-- and I finally broke down and bought some freeze-dried nettle leaf capsules (instead of relying solely on my home-brew nettle tincture)-- and they are SO controlling my allergies with NO side effects!!! YAY for uninterrupted sleep!! (Except of course, that Abbigale continues to throw up a little too frequently this week, and I had to jump out of bed an hour before my alarm so I could give her some tummy meds-- which did work this time, thank goodness!)
May your Way be strewn with fulfillment, and the blessings of a life well-lived.
Calamity comes in all shapes and sizes, and a bunch of my dear friends have been faced with one calamity or another in the past week or two. And it's a relief to support them all without having to also feel all their pain for them. I used to take on other folks' emotions-- still do sometimes-- but at this point, I've done enough work as a Life Coach/Tarot Reader to be able to separate what *I* am feeling on my own behalf from what I am feeling on SOMEONE ELSE'S behalf.
And so I was tired from all the energy I (gladly) used in support of my friends coping with life-crisis stuff... but I wasn't emotionally overwhelmed or incapacitated by all the grief. And I'm really proud of myself for that.
The Root Chakra, by the way, is the one in charge of our connection with the Earth, our sense of security and belonging, our financial and physical well-being, our safety, our solidity in whatever we are trying to accomplish with our lives, and how well-grounded we are in the way we cope with challenges and with daily life. The Root Chakra is set up and nourished the most strongly in the first two years of our lives. It is the First Chakra, and it is the foundation on which all other Chakra work is done. If your Root Chakra isn't strong, its hard for the rest of you to be strong. Each chakra has a purpose in relation to the others-- and in relation to our life-patterns. And each chakra has a specific "right" attached to it-- like the right to fair representation, only that isn't one of them. For the Root Chakra, you have the right to be here; and the right to have.
It was a weird sort of awareness for me to realize that I've spent most of my life working really hard to make other people look good, and help other people achieve their dreams/goals/successes. And I've spent the last several years not really believing I had a right to my own success, or to use my skills and experiences and abilities to make MYSELF look good. No wonder it's been so hard to find a good-paying job. I never felt like I deserved one!
This whole awareness process started with my SisterSpirit Journaling Group. This session, we are devoting a whole month to each of our chakras. So we started by journaling about our interaction with the Root Chakra's particular meaning and how it shows up in our lives... And since my Instructor says that the Root Chakra is the most solid, and thus takes the most time to really shift or change out of its current form, she gave us the homework of thinking/writing/doing yoga in connection with our Root Chakra every day for the whole month until our next Journaling Group meeting in May.
Now, I know I've been having Root Chakra issues. And reading about my right to have (as in-- have respect, have a safe & secure home, have a good-paying job that I love, have a relationship with someone who really appreciates me, etc) well, it really sank in that I have some foundation work to do-- some Root work, if you will. I've made a point of focusing on that stuff for a few minutes every day. And I can feel the difference. I'm a lot better grounded than I was a few weeks ago. Thank goodness, considering all the challenges that have come up since then.
Even the visit to the Family Farm couldn't have been better-timed. OH-- and I finally broke down and bought some freeze-dried nettle leaf capsules (instead of relying solely on my home-brew nettle tincture)-- and they are SO controlling my allergies with NO side effects!!! YAY for uninterrupted sleep!! (Except of course, that Abbigale continues to throw up a little too frequently this week, and I had to jump out of bed an hour before my alarm so I could give her some tummy meds-- which did work this time, thank goodness!)
May your Way be strewn with fulfillment, and the blessings of a life well-lived.
Leaning Into Life
I've been going to school and working hard to become a professional librarian. I finished my degree in December, and have spent the months since applying for job after job-- and not getting anywhere.
At the same time, I hoped one day to use my income from library world to start up my own Tarot life coaching practice, maybe even get a second degree in Counseling or something official like that. I already knew I was a gifted listener, and I read Tarot for anyone who was the slightest bit interested in it. I studied like a maniac, attending to my own personal and spiritual growth as I struggled both financially and directionally over the past few years.
Every couple of months, I'd read Tarot for myself, trying to find some affirmation out there that being a Librarian was a part of my life path to abundance and fulfillment. I know I'd be damn good at it-- and I studied long and hard to get the degree that makes me employable in my chosen field. But somehow, the Tarot readings I saw before me were never really in tune with my professional aspirations.
I finally stopped forcing myself to take steps along a now painful path, and looked at what I was doing and why I was doing it. I realized that without pain and without going out of my way, I'd acquired four or five Coaching clients-- and hadn't been invited to interview for a Library Job in something like four months. Looking closer, I saw that the clients for whom I read Tarot pay me the most, and are the most consistent of the clients I'm currently working with as a life coach.
Suddenly, it was a no-brainer to put all my energy into building a practice and a client-base for my Tarot Life Coaching NOW-- and watch for something part time to come up in the local library world, something to help pay the rent while I cement my new career. How could it have taken me five months to see this? I'd put so much of my time and energy into getting that library degree that I wanted it to mean something. I wanted to put that knowledge to use. I'm just grateful that I've seen a better path now.
The point to all this is that I finally had time to perform my birthday reading earlier this week. It was amazing how clearly the cards I pulled lined up with my new purpose and professional goals. I even feel more energy and more excitement and more certainty flowing through me every day as I work to establish myself. The cards just confirmed and affirmed what I already felt-- and it was such a relief to have them do so! The pieces of my life are falling into place wonderfully. I'm so very excited to see where this new path leads, and so very full of hope and joy for my future.
I started on the path to Librarianship with three basic goals in mind:
-To make a career out of helping people.
-To want to get up to go to work every day (even if work was hard at times, I know I have to want to be there in order to keep showing up in the first place).
-And to have a retirement fund grow from the income my job generates. (basically, for my work to pay me enough to live comfortably now AND meet future financial needs)
My new work meets the first two requirements in a much more holistic and glowing way than being a librarian ever could (though I know I'd have enjoyed it, too)... And as for my third goal? Well, only time can tell. The funny part is that by the time I realized I was ready to take the leap, I already had.
I am an Empathic Listener, and the Tarot are but one of my tools.
I connect my clients to their inner wisdom. I encourage them to be conscious of the patterns that weave through the tapestry of their lives, and assist them in clarifying and honoring their own skills, abilities, and values. I read Tarot, but I don't tell the future. Instead, I tell the present, and together we explore the possibilities of what could come next. I look forward to working with you.
At the same time, I hoped one day to use my income from library world to start up my own Tarot life coaching practice, maybe even get a second degree in Counseling or something official like that. I already knew I was a gifted listener, and I read Tarot for anyone who was the slightest bit interested in it. I studied like a maniac, attending to my own personal and spiritual growth as I struggled both financially and directionally over the past few years.
Every couple of months, I'd read Tarot for myself, trying to find some affirmation out there that being a Librarian was a part of my life path to abundance and fulfillment. I know I'd be damn good at it-- and I studied long and hard to get the degree that makes me employable in my chosen field. But somehow, the Tarot readings I saw before me were never really in tune with my professional aspirations.
I finally stopped forcing myself to take steps along a now painful path, and looked at what I was doing and why I was doing it. I realized that without pain and without going out of my way, I'd acquired four or five Coaching clients-- and hadn't been invited to interview for a Library Job in something like four months. Looking closer, I saw that the clients for whom I read Tarot pay me the most, and are the most consistent of the clients I'm currently working with as a life coach.
Suddenly, it was a no-brainer to put all my energy into building a practice and a client-base for my Tarot Life Coaching NOW-- and watch for something part time to come up in the local library world, something to help pay the rent while I cement my new career. How could it have taken me five months to see this? I'd put so much of my time and energy into getting that library degree that I wanted it to mean something. I wanted to put that knowledge to use. I'm just grateful that I've seen a better path now.
The point to all this is that I finally had time to perform my birthday reading earlier this week. It was amazing how clearly the cards I pulled lined up with my new purpose and professional goals. I even feel more energy and more excitement and more certainty flowing through me every day as I work to establish myself. The cards just confirmed and affirmed what I already felt-- and it was such a relief to have them do so! The pieces of my life are falling into place wonderfully. I'm so very excited to see where this new path leads, and so very full of hope and joy for my future.
I started on the path to Librarianship with three basic goals in mind:
-To make a career out of helping people.
-To want to get up to go to work every day (even if work was hard at times, I know I have to want to be there in order to keep showing up in the first place).
-And to have a retirement fund grow from the income my job generates. (basically, for my work to pay me enough to live comfortably now AND meet future financial needs)
My new work meets the first two requirements in a much more holistic and glowing way than being a librarian ever could (though I know I'd have enjoyed it, too)... And as for my third goal? Well, only time can tell. The funny part is that by the time I realized I was ready to take the leap, I already had.
I am an Empathic Listener, and the Tarot are but one of my tools.
I connect my clients to their inner wisdom. I encourage them to be conscious of the patterns that weave through the tapestry of their lives, and assist them in clarifying and honoring their own skills, abilities, and values. I read Tarot, but I don't tell the future. Instead, I tell the present, and together we explore the possibilities of what could come next. I look forward to working with you.
Tuesday
Finding Time
This is actually a post about Yoga. Or maybe it's about what I think it means to honor the Goddess with my life. Maybe I'm just talking about how hard it is to take time out of my day for me... and how I connect that with being female in this time and place. Maybe it's something else all together. As I wrote it, the post just kept getting longer and longer... I think I'm worried that I didn't share this lesson well enough, or that I'm talking to people who only exist in my head... I'm worried that I will sound pitiful, or worse-- preachy... I sometimes think that we, as women, often have too hard a time recognizing our own wisdom and our own worth... So I'm not going to cut this one down to a more manageable size. I think it's important. Whatever it is.
See, there's this list of "someday" goals in my head. The ones I never do find time to commit to-- ones that don't put food on the table, a roof over my head, and don't benefit anyone but me. This is where I keep my desires like spending a whole week at a bed-and-breakfast on the beach, instead of using my vacation time and money on a trip to Michigan with my family every year... The list that has my wish to learn how to make bread-- good old hearty nutty flavorful bread. My desire for a gym membership ended up on this list, too. With a limited income, a weekly lunch with the people I love is just more important, for the price. And I still haven't found energy or supplies to build that Navajo Loom I want to play with-- nor research what kind of string I'd need to warp it with. Come to think of it-- when would I have time?
I'm not willing to give up my sleep-- the whole "get up 30 minutes earlier" plan just sounds like a way to substitute one healthy thing for another when I hear it. Less sleep, but more exercise... is that really helping me? Or less sleep but more time to write, more time to meditate, more time for a walk every day, more time to fix a healthy lunch before I go to work-- Suddenly I wonder if I shouldn't just be staying up all night to find the extra time I want for ALL the things I want to enjoy in my day!
So I'm not going to give up sleep to improve my life. That's an oxymoron waiting to happen. But I do want to include more good stuff in the time that I'm awake (and fewer morons). Maybe I don't need as much time checking email before I start my day. Maybe I don't need as much time watching movies to unwind at night before bed. Maybe I need to start out slowly. Maybe I already have.
I found a book on Yoga-- it has a 5-minute routine in it. And once I made time for five minutes of yoga in my morning prep... it wasn't so hard to move up to the 15-minute version the book also offers. Heck! I might eventually work my way up to the 90-minute yoga routine the book includes before the year is gone! And I found a book called Gardener's Yoga, by Veronica D'Orazio (Sasquatch Books, 2006).
The book is split into three sections. The first section is a preparation for working the earth, and coincidentally contains about ten minutes of "getting started" Yoga poses. The second section is another ten minutes of Yoga, this time geared toward stretching out the kinks that come from all that weeding and squatting down. The last ten minute section is for the end of the day, to help your body relax after hard work. I love how well the poses flow into one another, and I love how well they are integrated into the seasons and the phases of the garden.
I've realized that the hard part about taking care of me has always been getting started. I've had trouble committing myself to spending large chunks of my time doing selfish things. And in my head, I thought of the things I want to do just for me-- like Yoga and writing and meditating and weaving... I've thought of them as a selfish way to spend my time. But on the days I do them, I'm a better worker at my day job, and I grow stronger as a person. I feel healthy, and I have more patience with the world. So for now, I may only spend ten minutes doing Yoga in the morning, but I'm learning to feel good about that. I see it as a foundation for more good things to grow from. I'm learning that taking good care of me has a good impact on the people around me, too. It's not wrong to love and care for myself. In fact, nobody else can do it better.
Even better, I've learned that there are specific poses in Yoga that are meant to unblock and open a body's Chakras-- and I'm incorporating some of the poses for stimulating the First Chakra into my routine. Maybe I didn't have to find the time so much as I had to convince myself that I am worth spending quality time on. ...And that I don't have to start doing it all at once. I certainly didn't learn that one from my mother, or my ex-husband. In fact, most women I know have a very hard time (there's that word again!!) doing things for themselves in a consistent way. There's always something more important they could be doing. But here's the challenge-- if YOU don't think you're important, nobody else will either. And that is wrong. You are important. Worth doing good things for.
I don't mean the extra chocolate bar when you've had a bad day... (well, not JUST that!) I mean that 20 minutes of uninterrupted meditation in a quiet room every night so you can sleep comfortably. I mean that hour on the phone with your family or your best friend who moved away five years ago-- every weekend, without trying to multi-task while you talk. I mean the five minutes you spend standing still to enjoy the beauty of a tree, and just BREATHE for a minute, as you rush between buildings, meetings, and soccer practice every afternoon. I mean that 10 minutes I'm spending on my Yoga every morning before work, and the effort it takes to keep a clean spot on the floor big enough to do it in. I mean refusing to stay up that extra half an hour at night to get everyone else ready for the next day-- while they sleep.
Somehow, we've learned that the job must be done right, and we're the only ones who can do the job that way. Somehow, we've agreed to take on the responsibility for the success or failure of every dream our family (even our society) has-- without including our dreams on the list. We take the leftovers. We take the hand-me-down computer. We don't ask for someone to do their share of the chores-- we ask them to help us out a little with the chores we do. We make the kids' lunch and work a 60 hour week. We scrimp and save our pennies so someone else can have their heart's desire. Someone who already spent their pennies on something frivolous and fun.
I don't mean to dishonor our sacrifices, and I know this isn't everyone's reality. I actually hold a great respect for the importance of compassion, of love. But that's just it. Compassion, Love, long-term planning, Sharing and Giving are IMPORTANT, and WORTHY OF RESPECT. And another thing I've learned-- from my own life and from watching those I love-- is that if we continue to give and give without ever replenishing ourselves, we burn out, and we eventually have nothing left to give to anyone.
So-- please-- make a difference in your own quality of life, long-term. Like ten minutes of Yoga before breakfast, or ten minutes of solitude before bed. Now that I've learned how to find the time, I am determined not to lose it again. I want to enjoy my life. I want to experience abundance so that I can share it whole-heartedly, without running dry. I want to honor the Goddess by honoring myself, and the women around me. I'm worth it. She's worth it. You're worth it. Slow down, and give yourself time to recharge.
I am doing my best to honor my Goddess, the Great Spirit, with my life. I want to be my best self while I do it, and that means loving myself just as much as I love everyone else. That means it's okay to put my own needs first. To ensure that I have the strength and endurance to be there when others need me. It's okay to teach by my example that compassion and respect belong to everyone, not just an exclusive few.
So... What will you find time for today?... what about tomorrow?
See, there's this list of "someday" goals in my head. The ones I never do find time to commit to-- ones that don't put food on the table, a roof over my head, and don't benefit anyone but me. This is where I keep my desires like spending a whole week at a bed-and-breakfast on the beach, instead of using my vacation time and money on a trip to Michigan with my family every year... The list that has my wish to learn how to make bread-- good old hearty nutty flavorful bread. My desire for a gym membership ended up on this list, too. With a limited income, a weekly lunch with the people I love is just more important, for the price. And I still haven't found energy or supplies to build that Navajo Loom I want to play with-- nor research what kind of string I'd need to warp it with. Come to think of it-- when would I have time?
I'm not willing to give up my sleep-- the whole "get up 30 minutes earlier" plan just sounds like a way to substitute one healthy thing for another when I hear it. Less sleep, but more exercise... is that really helping me? Or less sleep but more time to write, more time to meditate, more time for a walk every day, more time to fix a healthy lunch before I go to work-- Suddenly I wonder if I shouldn't just be staying up all night to find the extra time I want for ALL the things I want to enjoy in my day!
So I'm not going to give up sleep to improve my life. That's an oxymoron waiting to happen. But I do want to include more good stuff in the time that I'm awake (and fewer morons). Maybe I don't need as much time checking email before I start my day. Maybe I don't need as much time watching movies to unwind at night before bed. Maybe I need to start out slowly. Maybe I already have.
I found a book on Yoga-- it has a 5-minute routine in it. And once I made time for five minutes of yoga in my morning prep... it wasn't so hard to move up to the 15-minute version the book also offers. Heck! I might eventually work my way up to the 90-minute yoga routine the book includes before the year is gone! And I found a book called Gardener's Yoga, by Veronica D'Orazio (Sasquatch Books, 2006).
The book is split into three sections. The first section is a preparation for working the earth, and coincidentally contains about ten minutes of "getting started" Yoga poses. The second section is another ten minutes of Yoga, this time geared toward stretching out the kinks that come from all that weeding and squatting down. The last ten minute section is for the end of the day, to help your body relax after hard work. I love how well the poses flow into one another, and I love how well they are integrated into the seasons and the phases of the garden.
I've realized that the hard part about taking care of me has always been getting started. I've had trouble committing myself to spending large chunks of my time doing selfish things. And in my head, I thought of the things I want to do just for me-- like Yoga and writing and meditating and weaving... I've thought of them as a selfish way to spend my time. But on the days I do them, I'm a better worker at my day job, and I grow stronger as a person. I feel healthy, and I have more patience with the world. So for now, I may only spend ten minutes doing Yoga in the morning, but I'm learning to feel good about that. I see it as a foundation for more good things to grow from. I'm learning that taking good care of me has a good impact on the people around me, too. It's not wrong to love and care for myself. In fact, nobody else can do it better.
Even better, I've learned that there are specific poses in Yoga that are meant to unblock and open a body's Chakras-- and I'm incorporating some of the poses for stimulating the First Chakra into my routine. Maybe I didn't have to find the time so much as I had to convince myself that I am worth spending quality time on. ...And that I don't have to start doing it all at once. I certainly didn't learn that one from my mother, or my ex-husband. In fact, most women I know have a very hard time (there's that word again!!) doing things for themselves in a consistent way. There's always something more important they could be doing. But here's the challenge-- if YOU don't think you're important, nobody else will either. And that is wrong. You are important. Worth doing good things for.
I don't mean the extra chocolate bar when you've had a bad day... (well, not JUST that!) I mean that 20 minutes of uninterrupted meditation in a quiet room every night so you can sleep comfortably. I mean that hour on the phone with your family or your best friend who moved away five years ago-- every weekend, without trying to multi-task while you talk. I mean the five minutes you spend standing still to enjoy the beauty of a tree, and just BREATHE for a minute, as you rush between buildings, meetings, and soccer practice every afternoon. I mean that 10 minutes I'm spending on my Yoga every morning before work, and the effort it takes to keep a clean spot on the floor big enough to do it in. I mean refusing to stay up that extra half an hour at night to get everyone else ready for the next day-- while they sleep.
Somehow, we've learned that the job must be done right, and we're the only ones who can do the job that way. Somehow, we've agreed to take on the responsibility for the success or failure of every dream our family (even our society) has-- without including our dreams on the list. We take the leftovers. We take the hand-me-down computer. We don't ask for someone to do their share of the chores-- we ask them to help us out a little with the chores we do. We make the kids' lunch and work a 60 hour week. We scrimp and save our pennies so someone else can have their heart's desire. Someone who already spent their pennies on something frivolous and fun.
I don't mean to dishonor our sacrifices, and I know this isn't everyone's reality. I actually hold a great respect for the importance of compassion, of love. But that's just it. Compassion, Love, long-term planning, Sharing and Giving are IMPORTANT, and WORTHY OF RESPECT. And another thing I've learned-- from my own life and from watching those I love-- is that if we continue to give and give without ever replenishing ourselves, we burn out, and we eventually have nothing left to give to anyone.
So-- please-- make a difference in your own quality of life, long-term. Like ten minutes of Yoga before breakfast, or ten minutes of solitude before bed. Now that I've learned how to find the time, I am determined not to lose it again. I want to enjoy my life. I want to experience abundance so that I can share it whole-heartedly, without running dry. I want to honor the Goddess by honoring myself, and the women around me. I'm worth it. She's worth it. You're worth it. Slow down, and give yourself time to recharge.
I am doing my best to honor my Goddess, the Great Spirit, with my life. I want to be my best self while I do it, and that means loving myself just as much as I love everyone else. That means it's okay to put my own needs first. To ensure that I have the strength and endurance to be there when others need me. It's okay to teach by my example that compassion and respect belong to everyone, not just an exclusive few.
So... What will you find time for today?... what about tomorrow?
Saturday
Archaeology and the Goddess
I was hunting through my Pagan Library recently, looking for information on a couple of aspects of the Goddess, and ran into some old favorite books. I thought I'd share them with you, as I found them very empowering and enlightening. Whether you take the information as fact, or as possibility, these books opened my eyes to our power and our history as women.
The Grandmother of Time, by Zsuzsanna E Budapest
This book was out of print when I went searching for my copy, so you may want to try used bookstores first. Worth the search, this book is divided into months, with information about appropriate colors, stones, trees and magic for those seasons, as well as information about specific holidays and Goddesses. It also includes autobiographical stories about the beginning of the current Feminist Pagan movement in America, and about Z. Budapest herself.
Ancient Mirrors of Womanhood, by Merlin Stone
This book is a collection of Goddess stories, arranged by the original nationality of their storyteller-- from around the world. The prefaces and introduction are worth reading to get a better perspective on how, why, and with what information this collection was written.
The Chalice & The Blade, by Riane Eisler
This book is an examination of sociological models of being, with an archaeological twist. Her focus is on early social practices, as informed by religious beliefs, and the changes in social structure and harmony that the invading Judeo-Christian God evoked. Eisler uses her extensive research into and knowledge of prehistory to describe the functioning of Goddess-worshiping societies, and to explore the possibilities of such a society reemerging today. While she begins by tracing probable prehistory, she ends by discussing the possible future. Inspiring.
When God Was A Woman, by Merlin Stone
This book traces connections between various pre-historical cultures via their worship of the Goddess. It takes this theory of connection to the conclusion that, whatever name She had, worship of the One was pretty much everywhere at one time... A great re-visioning of history, and of today's Judeo-Christian religious practices and stories. Her retelling of Adam and Eve in the Garden as a fable meant to bring moral (and mortal) fear to those who still practiced Goddess Worship made more sense to me than any amount of demanding that I believe an original Garden actually existed.
Just some books to get your self-respect and your hope for what can be (because of what once was) flowing!
Blessings.
The Grandmother of Time, by Zsuzsanna E Budapest
This book was out of print when I went searching for my copy, so you may want to try used bookstores first. Worth the search, this book is divided into months, with information about appropriate colors, stones, trees and magic for those seasons, as well as information about specific holidays and Goddesses. It also includes autobiographical stories about the beginning of the current Feminist Pagan movement in America, and about Z. Budapest herself.
Ancient Mirrors of Womanhood, by Merlin Stone
This book is a collection of Goddess stories, arranged by the original nationality of their storyteller-- from around the world. The prefaces and introduction are worth reading to get a better perspective on how, why, and with what information this collection was written.
The Chalice & The Blade, by Riane Eisler
This book is an examination of sociological models of being, with an archaeological twist. Her focus is on early social practices, as informed by religious beliefs, and the changes in social structure and harmony that the invading Judeo-Christian God evoked. Eisler uses her extensive research into and knowledge of prehistory to describe the functioning of Goddess-worshiping societies, and to explore the possibilities of such a society reemerging today. While she begins by tracing probable prehistory, she ends by discussing the possible future. Inspiring.
When God Was A Woman, by Merlin Stone
This book traces connections between various pre-historical cultures via their worship of the Goddess. It takes this theory of connection to the conclusion that, whatever name She had, worship of the One was pretty much everywhere at one time... A great re-visioning of history, and of today's Judeo-Christian religious practices and stories. Her retelling of Adam and Eve in the Garden as a fable meant to bring moral (and mortal) fear to those who still practiced Goddess Worship made more sense to me than any amount of demanding that I believe an original Garden actually existed.
Just some books to get your self-respect and your hope for what can be (because of what once was) flowing!
Blessings.
Monday
Birch Bark and St John
I've recently discovered (as many before me have done) two wonderful herbs for managing nerve and joint pain. That pain that the headache medicines like Tylenol don't touch, because it is not a muscle, it is a nerve getting pinched or pulled or twisted or bruised-- you know that pain? Sometimes it tingles like you hit your funny bone, and sometimes it aches like the blood flow to the whole limb has been cut off, and sometimes you just WANT to cut the limb off and be done with it...
Well, adding a little birch bark and some St. John's Wort to your tea can help with that. Willow bark is where aspirin came from 2,000 years ago, so it's good for headaches and cramps and muscles-- but birch bark helps arthritis and joints and all those places that your nerve can get caught and tweaked. And while we all know that St. John's Wort is good for memory-- its original purpose was actually to alleviate pain. And it still works for that, too. Just don't use too much at a time. You probably want to consult an experienced herbalist or check out an herbal healing book from the library to consult before you decide what is right for you... but I thought you might like to know what's possible. I sure do.
Well, adding a little birch bark and some St. John's Wort to your tea can help with that. Willow bark is where aspirin came from 2,000 years ago, so it's good for headaches and cramps and muscles-- but birch bark helps arthritis and joints and all those places that your nerve can get caught and tweaked. And while we all know that St. John's Wort is good for memory-- its original purpose was actually to alleviate pain. And it still works for that, too. Just don't use too much at a time. You probably want to consult an experienced herbalist or check out an herbal healing book from the library to consult before you decide what is right for you... but I thought you might like to know what's possible. I sure do.
Wednesday
Is it Intuition or Monkeys?
I went to a Journaling Workshop last night. Great experience. Pagan group of women. Knowledgeable group facilitator. Wow.
Not only did she teach me a great new method of getting something meaningful out of my writing, but we ended up having a short discussion about recognizing the difference between the voice of intuition in your head, and the voice of the chattering monkeys. At least, that's what we started calling it. See, the voice we are used to hearing is like a chattering monkey. Skeptical, gnawing, not supportive, telling you what to do. It just talks. A lot. And it tries to push you around. That "monkey voice."
The thing is-- it's NOT supportive. And we don't really get value out of harsh judgments and gnawing expectations. So the key is to turn down the volume on this voice. Maybe you can't shut it out completely, but you can turn down the volume, and recognize how different the monkey chatter sounds from the voice of your true intuition.
Intuition is the voice of wisdom. Peaceful. Friendly. Flowing like a deep moving river under your consciousness. It comes from the gut and the heart. Quiet. Not linear. Maybe not even seeming to fit with the general flow of your life at the moment you hear it. And that's one of the challenges. To trust yourself and your inner wisdom-- your intuition-- enough to heed its voice when you DO hear. One must be quiet to hear it. Serene. Vanessa, or group facilitator, stated it this way: You have to trust your own competence. You have to say "I'm worth it, even if I make a mistake." This is the bridge. This is how we begin to recognize our intuition as a unique wisdom in our life process.
And the writing technique? Well, free-write for five minutes. About whatever comes into your head or out of your pen, without stopping. Set a timer. Then go back and highlight four or five words or phrases that really seem important-- unsettling, wise, curious, interesting-- whatever they are. Pick one. Use it as the title for your next free-write.
With your new title as a starting point, the goal here is to get deeper into your writing. Stop your flow often and insert a dash "-- what I really want to say is...." and use that as an opportunity to deepen your focus and your writing this time. "--what I really want to say is..." Set the timer for seven minutes.
Stop and re-read what you wrote. What is it really about? Is there a theme or a lesson? Pick up your highlighter again. Select about five words or phrases that jump out at you or snag your attention in some way, as before. Select one and use it for the title or focus of your next timed writing exercise. For ten minutes, write deeply. Don't forget to set the timer. Use the dash to deepen your focus within your writing. "--what I really mean is..."
Great. Now read over and think about what you wrote this time. What did you learn? What did you write about? Is it deep and meaningful writing? Is there wisdom in your words? If you could summarize the experience of this writing exercise, and what themes/lessons you gained from what you wrote-- what would you say? Write that down, too.
It's amazing how meaningful of a life-perspective can grow out of a simple unformatted free-write, isn't it? I was blown away. It was just a great group and a great experience. Vanessa did a great job in putting such a meaningful and purposeful evening together for us, and facilitating it effectively. Thanks.
Not only did she teach me a great new method of getting something meaningful out of my writing, but we ended up having a short discussion about recognizing the difference between the voice of intuition in your head, and the voice of the chattering monkeys. At least, that's what we started calling it. See, the voice we are used to hearing is like a chattering monkey. Skeptical, gnawing, not supportive, telling you what to do. It just talks. A lot. And it tries to push you around. That "monkey voice."
The thing is-- it's NOT supportive. And we don't really get value out of harsh judgments and gnawing expectations. So the key is to turn down the volume on this voice. Maybe you can't shut it out completely, but you can turn down the volume, and recognize how different the monkey chatter sounds from the voice of your true intuition.
Intuition is the voice of wisdom. Peaceful. Friendly. Flowing like a deep moving river under your consciousness. It comes from the gut and the heart. Quiet. Not linear. Maybe not even seeming to fit with the general flow of your life at the moment you hear it. And that's one of the challenges. To trust yourself and your inner wisdom-- your intuition-- enough to heed its voice when you DO hear. One must be quiet to hear it. Serene. Vanessa, or group facilitator, stated it this way: You have to trust your own competence. You have to say "I'm worth it, even if I make a mistake." This is the bridge. This is how we begin to recognize our intuition as a unique wisdom in our life process.
And the writing technique? Well, free-write for five minutes. About whatever comes into your head or out of your pen, without stopping. Set a timer. Then go back and highlight four or five words or phrases that really seem important-- unsettling, wise, curious, interesting-- whatever they are. Pick one. Use it as the title for your next free-write.
With your new title as a starting point, the goal here is to get deeper into your writing. Stop your flow often and insert a dash "-- what I really want to say is...." and use that as an opportunity to deepen your focus and your writing this time. "--what I really want to say is..." Set the timer for seven minutes.
Stop and re-read what you wrote. What is it really about? Is there a theme or a lesson? Pick up your highlighter again. Select about five words or phrases that jump out at you or snag your attention in some way, as before. Select one and use it for the title or focus of your next timed writing exercise. For ten minutes, write deeply. Don't forget to set the timer. Use the dash to deepen your focus within your writing. "--what I really mean is..."
Great. Now read over and think about what you wrote this time. What did you learn? What did you write about? Is it deep and meaningful writing? Is there wisdom in your words? If you could summarize the experience of this writing exercise, and what themes/lessons you gained from what you wrote-- what would you say? Write that down, too.
It's amazing how meaningful of a life-perspective can grow out of a simple unformatted free-write, isn't it? I was blown away. It was just a great group and a great experience. Vanessa did a great job in putting such a meaningful and purposeful evening together for us, and facilitating it effectively. Thanks.
Thursday
Pendulums
My Aunt-- the woman who called me her Spirit Child, and taught me a little bit of many magickal paths as a child-- used a pendulum for much of her life. She even gave my cousins and I crystals that were appropriate for our age/size to use as such, and told us her method of figuring out the basic yes/no communication process.
A pendulum is a rock crystal, usually circular and with a pointed base, used to assist the user in determining the best answer to a given question. I've heard two basic belief systems for why this works: Either your guardian angel/spirit/goddess is guiding the crystal's movement; Or it resonates with your inner self, which has greater wisdom than your conscious self, and therefore has the ability to know the best answer for you in that moment-- and the rock moves accordingly.
I've also learned of at least three different ways to figure out the basic messages your crystal can give you. For my Aunt, there was a certain finger of your hand that you'd hold the pendulum over and this would mean "yes," and another for "no." I could never remember which finger was supposed to mean what-- and really, I think this was just a way for you to condition the pendulum to move in only one way for "yes." If you focused on "yes" and on the crystal moving, then it would make a "yes" movement. Another method is to write outcomes or chakras on a round piece of paper, divided like a pie. Whatever the pendulum sways toward is the answer to the question you've posed. No mater what, the most important aspect is to always use only one chosen method, and to remember that a pendulum only has one interpreter.
The way I did it was to ask a question to which I already knew the answer-- a "yes" answer. You have no idea how hard it is to come up with a truly yes/no question with no alternative interpretations!! I did the same with a "no" question-- and from there I knew what two movements to look for. I wore the stone in a pocket against my body for several days before doing this, to be sure I was in tune with my pendulum, by the way.
I've learned in practice that the faster my rock moves, and the more cleanly the movement is repeated, the more I can rely on that answer-- the more clearly an opinion has been expressed. I also don't have the crystals my Aunt gave me so long ago. I think I was six or seven at the time. And I found that a random semi-precious stone bead I'd picked up was the right thing for me to use anyway. It is not quite round, but has a definite point at the base. My stone is made of Amazonite.
Amazonite is a blue-green opaque stone, known to have a "powerful filtering action." It is said to open intuition, communication, and balance. It is used in healing and in filtering/connecting information and perspective for the best possible outcome. When I learned about these qualities of the pretty bead I'd randomly purchased... I understood why it would be such a great pendulum for me. And while I wear it nearly every day on a necklace, I don't use it to answer every single question that comes across my desk. I use my own intelligence and sense of rightness as much as possible.
I use my pendulum when there is no obvious way for me to know the best answer to a question before I make my decision. And then I have to be very careful about asking a question whose answer will be easy to interpret based on my skill at reading the movements. "Is this a good suppliment for me to take right now?" "Will this suppliment effectively heal this aspect of an illness I am experiencing?" (Two very different questions!) "Do I have access to something that would be better than this for that task?" (Now I just have to find it!) Asking if something will be good for you is a very general question-- maybe "good for you" is like those painful character-building activities of your childhood. Or maybe "good for you" would be a temporary kind of good-- as in a good person to learn the fine art of kissing from, but not a good person to marry...
Once I have a question in mind, I hold the item in my palm (or envision it's likeness in my palm if it is too big or not available), and concentrate on the desired outcome/the question as single-mindedly as possible. Sometimes my pendulum doesn't have an answer for me. Sometimes it takes a moment to decide. Sometimes it is not the answer I want to hear. But always, it is helpful to have this input from a greater knowledge than I consciously possess at this time.
If you've decided to look into pendulum work, I'd love to hear what kind of stone or crystal you've selected, and why. And if you know more than I do on the subject, I'd love to learn about a good book or other resource for learning more advanced pendulum readings.
Blessings Be.
Saphoro
A pendulum is a rock crystal, usually circular and with a pointed base, used to assist the user in determining the best answer to a given question. I've heard two basic belief systems for why this works: Either your guardian angel/spirit/goddess is guiding the crystal's movement; Or it resonates with your inner self, which has greater wisdom than your conscious self, and therefore has the ability to know the best answer for you in that moment-- and the rock moves accordingly.
I've also learned of at least three different ways to figure out the basic messages your crystal can give you. For my Aunt, there was a certain finger of your hand that you'd hold the pendulum over and this would mean "yes," and another for "no." I could never remember which finger was supposed to mean what-- and really, I think this was just a way for you to condition the pendulum to move in only one way for "yes." If you focused on "yes" and on the crystal moving, then it would make a "yes" movement. Another method is to write outcomes or chakras on a round piece of paper, divided like a pie. Whatever the pendulum sways toward is the answer to the question you've posed. No mater what, the most important aspect is to always use only one chosen method, and to remember that a pendulum only has one interpreter.
The way I did it was to ask a question to which I already knew the answer-- a "yes" answer. You have no idea how hard it is to come up with a truly yes/no question with no alternative interpretations!! I did the same with a "no" question-- and from there I knew what two movements to look for. I wore the stone in a pocket against my body for several days before doing this, to be sure I was in tune with my pendulum, by the way.
I've learned in practice that the faster my rock moves, and the more cleanly the movement is repeated, the more I can rely on that answer-- the more clearly an opinion has been expressed. I also don't have the crystals my Aunt gave me so long ago. I think I was six or seven at the time. And I found that a random semi-precious stone bead I'd picked up was the right thing for me to use anyway. It is not quite round, but has a definite point at the base. My stone is made of Amazonite.
Amazonite is a blue-green opaque stone, known to have a "powerful filtering action." It is said to open intuition, communication, and balance. It is used in healing and in filtering/connecting information and perspective for the best possible outcome. When I learned about these qualities of the pretty bead I'd randomly purchased... I understood why it would be such a great pendulum for me. And while I wear it nearly every day on a necklace, I don't use it to answer every single question that comes across my desk. I use my own intelligence and sense of rightness as much as possible.
I use my pendulum when there is no obvious way for me to know the best answer to a question before I make my decision. And then I have to be very careful about asking a question whose answer will be easy to interpret based on my skill at reading the movements. "Is this a good suppliment for me to take right now?" "Will this suppliment effectively heal this aspect of an illness I am experiencing?" (Two very different questions!) "Do I have access to something that would be better than this for that task?" (Now I just have to find it!) Asking if something will be good for you is a very general question-- maybe "good for you" is like those painful character-building activities of your childhood. Or maybe "good for you" would be a temporary kind of good-- as in a good person to learn the fine art of kissing from, but not a good person to marry...
Once I have a question in mind, I hold the item in my palm (or envision it's likeness in my palm if it is too big or not available), and concentrate on the desired outcome/the question as single-mindedly as possible. Sometimes my pendulum doesn't have an answer for me. Sometimes it takes a moment to decide. Sometimes it is not the answer I want to hear. But always, it is helpful to have this input from a greater knowledge than I consciously possess at this time.
If you've decided to look into pendulum work, I'd love to hear what kind of stone or crystal you've selected, and why. And if you know more than I do on the subject, I'd love to learn about a good book or other resource for learning more advanced pendulum readings.
Blessings Be.
Saphoro
Friday
On Circles
I've had reason to think about circles lately-- particularly the circle of life. Life, growth, death, decay, rebirth, life... The circle turns for us all, in little ways, and in the ultimate circle-- bringing each of us closer to our next life. We all die. It made me think about what is important in my life-- and it was an easy conclusion:
The relationships with people, with places, with things, with plants and animals and ... It's the relationships I've formed-- the really good ones.
I'm so glad to have the relationship I do with my cat (I think she likes having me for her person, too, which is nice), with the sweet gum tree outside my apartment, with my growing Spirit Family, with my closest friends, with myself and my Goddess. I truly live an abundant life, when measured in those terms.
--------------
On other topics, I recently put a circle of white-blue fire around my home, and feel much safer for it. I bring it up because as my openness to subconscious knowledge and conversations grows, the variety of conversations I have also expands. Last night, I spoke with a little fire Gnome who was a living part of my wall, and came out to catch flies-- I directed him to my back patio. Interesting conversation, that. I hadn't been thinking of my fire as a living thing or a habitat for other living things-- other magick-- until then, for one. And for another, I hadn't really grasped the concept of astral projection as such.
I just thought I had a vivid imagination in which I often ended up telling myself stories about horrible things happening, and getting really emotionally upset-- all while knowing these things I was "experiencing" in my imagination weren't happening to ME... weren't real.
The Fire Gnome explained to me, the "silly human!" that I was actually doing astral projection for most of these "experiences"-- and that's why they had such an emotional effect on me. They were happening- to someone. I was simply taking that person's place until the part of the "story" they couldn't deal with was over-- and other times I was just making up a story in my head. Which is why I don't always get so overwhelmed by these stories.
So now I need to find an unobtrusive and undraining way to stop myself from unintended astral projection trips. And I need to learn to tell the difference. Right. Suggestions?
-----------
The Fire Protection Wall:
A great and simple spell in which you dedicate several rocks to maintaining the protection spell on your home, your possessions, your person and pets. You do this with a spell, and by drawing a symbol on each rock in red, while concentrating on the spell of dedication (which calls on the power of the four elements, and asks the fifth-- Spirit-- to witness and bind the protection spell).
Then you place a rock by each of the entrances/doors/windows to your home, and one in each of the four corners of your home-- in a circular pattern, visualizing the wall of fire springing up behind you as you go until you complete the circle. The point is NOT to hurt anyone, but to keep them outside of your personal space. The strength of the wall is dependent on the strength of your will and your vision to place it there-- and your dedication to maintaining it. I'll look for the original spell- hang on.
Ahh-- a very useful bit of Gypsy Magick from Patrinella Cooper's book by that name (omit the 'k'). Page 42 discusses creating your own Duk Rak. As you place each seal, say, "I place you here to protect all that I have and all that I love by earth, sky, fire and water, forever. Le see kel. Le see kel. Le see kel." There is more than I've described to this ritual, so please consider buying or borrowing this excellent book-- or use it as a starting point for your own ritual of protection.
If a ritual does not hold meaning and feel powerful to you, it won't channel your power and your intentions very well. Be your best self, use your best intentions, do your best.
All the best,
Saphora
The relationships with people, with places, with things, with plants and animals and ... It's the relationships I've formed-- the really good ones.
I'm so glad to have the relationship I do with my cat (I think she likes having me for her person, too, which is nice), with the sweet gum tree outside my apartment, with my growing Spirit Family, with my closest friends, with myself and my Goddess. I truly live an abundant life, when measured in those terms.
--------------
On other topics, I recently put a circle of white-blue fire around my home, and feel much safer for it. I bring it up because as my openness to subconscious knowledge and conversations grows, the variety of conversations I have also expands. Last night, I spoke with a little fire Gnome who was a living part of my wall, and came out to catch flies-- I directed him to my back patio. Interesting conversation, that. I hadn't been thinking of my fire as a living thing or a habitat for other living things-- other magick-- until then, for one. And for another, I hadn't really grasped the concept of astral projection as such.
I just thought I had a vivid imagination in which I often ended up telling myself stories about horrible things happening, and getting really emotionally upset-- all while knowing these things I was "experiencing" in my imagination weren't happening to ME... weren't real.
The Fire Gnome explained to me, the "silly human!" that I was actually doing astral projection for most of these "experiences"-- and that's why they had such an emotional effect on me. They were happening- to someone. I was simply taking that person's place until the part of the "story" they couldn't deal with was over-- and other times I was just making up a story in my head. Which is why I don't always get so overwhelmed by these stories.
So now I need to find an unobtrusive and undraining way to stop myself from unintended astral projection trips. And I need to learn to tell the difference. Right. Suggestions?
-----------
The Fire Protection Wall:
A great and simple spell in which you dedicate several rocks to maintaining the protection spell on your home, your possessions, your person and pets. You do this with a spell, and by drawing a symbol on each rock in red, while concentrating on the spell of dedication (which calls on the power of the four elements, and asks the fifth-- Spirit-- to witness and bind the protection spell).
Then you place a rock by each of the entrances/doors/windows to your home, and one in each of the four corners of your home-- in a circular pattern, visualizing the wall of fire springing up behind you as you go until you complete the circle. The point is NOT to hurt anyone, but to keep them outside of your personal space. The strength of the wall is dependent on the strength of your will and your vision to place it there-- and your dedication to maintaining it. I'll look for the original spell- hang on.
Ahh-- a very useful bit of Gypsy Magick from Patrinella Cooper's book by that name (omit the 'k'). Page 42 discusses creating your own Duk Rak. As you place each seal, say, "I place you here to protect all that I have and all that I love by earth, sky, fire and water, forever. Le see kel. Le see kel. Le see kel." There is more than I've described to this ritual, so please consider buying or borrowing this excellent book-- or use it as a starting point for your own ritual of protection.
If a ritual does not hold meaning and feel powerful to you, it won't channel your power and your intentions very well. Be your best self, use your best intentions, do your best.
All the best,
Saphora
Tuesday
On Tarot
I love Tarot. I especially love MY CARDS. It took me a bit of searching to find just the right pack for my beliefs and my sense of the Spirit Energy that guides me in this world. Do your homework, check out the cards, and don't let pretty art fool you into buying a pack of cards that don't actually speak to your practice as well as your pretty. I also suggest not buying used cards. You want your energy alone to rule the readings they give you.
My cards are the Medicine Woman Tarot. Which is getting harder to find, as it was one of the earlier sets of cards-- like 20-30 years ago when they were sort of unusual in America still... According to the Wise Woman who sold them to me. Who was located in a shop I'd never known existed before (even though I go to this little street of shops ALL THE TIME), and whose store seemed to contain one of everything I ever felt affinity with or really wanted my mom to buy for me as a child-- and then wanted for myself as a young adult. It was interesting to see my spirit growth laid out in the dusty corners of a small store like that. A good lesson.
I only got through half the store that day, but the few treasures I purchased there are very special to me. I felt like the Goddess had come down to let me see the trappings-- the important trappings-- of my life to this point, and to help me with my quest for Tarot, for guidance. I can't help believing that the store wouldn't be there if I tried to find it again tomorrow. I was careful not to look back at it when I left, too. It was too magickal, too exactly what I needed on that day at that moment, for me to take its existence for granted.
I've made friends with my cards since then, tracked down the Guide Book that goes with them, and learned a lot from the wisdom they present/represent. My cards are also a bit different in that they don't use the traditional pentacles/wands/swords/cups. I felt these images were from a magick tradition in which I don't take part. And were connected -- in my mind-- with Christianity so strongly that I'd have trouble feeling the hand of the Goddess upon them.
The Medicine Woman Tarot have taken religious names and symbols from all sorts of different spiritual paths-- relying most strongly on the healing images, the nature-connection within each. The goal of the cards is to aid wisdom and self-awareness. To give people the awarenesses and the lessons they need to move forward with their lives in a positive way, becoming their best selves. To this end, the minor arcana are stones, pipes, arrows and bowls. I can attach my mind to that without preconception. It lets me listen to the message as it is, and not through the filters I have developed in relation to any one specific religious or violent imagery.
I have only recently given readings to anyone but myself, and I love doing it. I also find that it is exhausting to give someone else the knowledge from the cards that is meant for them. But it is also very rewarding. Today, I gave a close friend-- a member of my Spirit Family-- a reading from the four elements circle pattern. We spent several hours on it, and she took LOTS of notes-- and I realized that the only way to strengthen my ability to be a channel for others with the cards is to keep doing it. To practice and exercise those "muscles" if you will.
It is the same with meditation, with Tai Chi, with building a Sacred Circle for your ritual, for any practical magick or herbal healing you work to perform for the good of all. And the words of the Tarot are true-- what you give, you get back. When you give, you are not giving to one person, but to the whole world, and when you get it back, it may not be in the same form-- or from the same place-- that it left you. It comes back from far away, from the world at large. It is karma, it is organic connection with all things, and it is a beautiful thought.
This sense of interconnection helps me to give even when I know the person receiving doesn't have the skill to give back to me. (This could be a lack of resources, poverty, inability to communicate clearly, no energy to spare for anything but survival needs, inability to love, or some other illness all together.) I'll get back what I give anyway, from somewhere else. And giving is important. The more you give, the more you get back, and the easier it is to do.
The four elements circle pattern, by the way, follows the drawing of the Sacred Circle, or the location and images of the four Elements. North is the physical earthly world, it is your Earth Life, and it is the time of decay/rejuvenation. It is a reading of the Life You Live on an earthly/physical plain. One card goes there. East is the rising sun, new projects and new beginnings, creativity, sexuality, wisdom carried by the wind. It is your Creative Self. One card goes there. South is your interaction with the world, your projection of self of Your Voice or your efforts and projects and how they are perceived by the world. It brings your voice to light, the fire of your personality is expressed by the card you put here. The West is the setting sun, projects completed, lessons learned, Ending and the waters of rebirth, of rest, of reward, sometimes death, in a symbolic form. It is also your spirit energy and your connection with the higher Soul/Spirit/Energy. Put one card here. Then place one card in the center.
Each of the four Elemental cards is a message-- acknowledgment of efforts and steps already taken, and messages to help you process those things and take the next step-- move toward the best possible self-- in each of these areas. You start, however, with the center card. It represents you (or the person you are reading) as they are at this moment or time in their lives. If the person you are reading does not feel this card is on target-- don't bother reading the rest of the cards, because you are not channeling for them at this time, and the reading would be a waste of energy for you both.
As I shuffle the cards, I often have one that "jumps out" or falls out of the deck. I take these as special messages for the focus of the reading, not connected with anything but a question in their minds, a message they need to hear at this point in their lives. To me, these are Goddess Cards. And I often make a pile of cards to the side of the Element Circle of Goddess Cards-- the ones that come next in the deck after the circle and center have been drawn. Sometimes it is only one card, sometimes (like today) it is four or five. Sometimes I don't pull until I've shuffled again, and sometimes enough Goddess Cards leap out that I don't bother pulling more. Often, the reading of the Circle is just a preliminary focusing of energy and opening of awareness so that the person being read can take in the greater importance of the message carried by the Goddess Cards. Sometimes the message they carry is so accurate that all we can do is laugh. And this feels good, too.
I picked a deck of Tarot cards whose focus is on learning and growing in harmony with life and with the goal of attaining the Best Self-- there are no bad cards in my deck. I know there are bad situations in life, but I think that the cards don't usually need to tell us when we've experienced them. Instead, we need the wisdom to learn, grow, and overcome the bad. To move beyond whatever is unhealthy or is holding us back in our lives-- in our creativity-- in our self-expression-- in our Spirit Journey. And this is what my Tarot cards are intended to do. For all that death is part of life and of the great circle, and ending is required to gain new beginnings, there is no Death Card in my Tarot.
This also makes it unusual.
Find what is right for you.
And Blessings Be.
-Saphoro
My cards are the Medicine Woman Tarot. Which is getting harder to find, as it was one of the earlier sets of cards-- like 20-30 years ago when they were sort of unusual in America still... According to the Wise Woman who sold them to me. Who was located in a shop I'd never known existed before (even though I go to this little street of shops ALL THE TIME), and whose store seemed to contain one of everything I ever felt affinity with or really wanted my mom to buy for me as a child-- and then wanted for myself as a young adult. It was interesting to see my spirit growth laid out in the dusty corners of a small store like that. A good lesson.
I only got through half the store that day, but the few treasures I purchased there are very special to me. I felt like the Goddess had come down to let me see the trappings-- the important trappings-- of my life to this point, and to help me with my quest for Tarot, for guidance. I can't help believing that the store wouldn't be there if I tried to find it again tomorrow. I was careful not to look back at it when I left, too. It was too magickal, too exactly what I needed on that day at that moment, for me to take its existence for granted.
I've made friends with my cards since then, tracked down the Guide Book that goes with them, and learned a lot from the wisdom they present/represent. My cards are also a bit different in that they don't use the traditional pentacles/wands/swords/cups. I felt these images were from a magick tradition in which I don't take part. And were connected -- in my mind-- with Christianity so strongly that I'd have trouble feeling the hand of the Goddess upon them.
The Medicine Woman Tarot have taken religious names and symbols from all sorts of different spiritual paths-- relying most strongly on the healing images, the nature-connection within each. The goal of the cards is to aid wisdom and self-awareness. To give people the awarenesses and the lessons they need to move forward with their lives in a positive way, becoming their best selves. To this end, the minor arcana are stones, pipes, arrows and bowls. I can attach my mind to that without preconception. It lets me listen to the message as it is, and not through the filters I have developed in relation to any one specific religious or violent imagery.
I have only recently given readings to anyone but myself, and I love doing it. I also find that it is exhausting to give someone else the knowledge from the cards that is meant for them. But it is also very rewarding. Today, I gave a close friend-- a member of my Spirit Family-- a reading from the four elements circle pattern. We spent several hours on it, and she took LOTS of notes-- and I realized that the only way to strengthen my ability to be a channel for others with the cards is to keep doing it. To practice and exercise those "muscles" if you will.
It is the same with meditation, with Tai Chi, with building a Sacred Circle for your ritual, for any practical magick or herbal healing you work to perform for the good of all. And the words of the Tarot are true-- what you give, you get back. When you give, you are not giving to one person, but to the whole world, and when you get it back, it may not be in the same form-- or from the same place-- that it left you. It comes back from far away, from the world at large. It is karma, it is organic connection with all things, and it is a beautiful thought.
This sense of interconnection helps me to give even when I know the person receiving doesn't have the skill to give back to me. (This could be a lack of resources, poverty, inability to communicate clearly, no energy to spare for anything but survival needs, inability to love, or some other illness all together.) I'll get back what I give anyway, from somewhere else. And giving is important. The more you give, the more you get back, and the easier it is to do.
The four elements circle pattern, by the way, follows the drawing of the Sacred Circle, or the location and images of the four Elements. North is the physical earthly world, it is your Earth Life, and it is the time of decay/rejuvenation. It is a reading of the Life You Live on an earthly/physical plain. One card goes there. East is the rising sun, new projects and new beginnings, creativity, sexuality, wisdom carried by the wind. It is your Creative Self. One card goes there. South is your interaction with the world, your projection of self of Your Voice or your efforts and projects and how they are perceived by the world. It brings your voice to light, the fire of your personality is expressed by the card you put here. The West is the setting sun, projects completed, lessons learned, Ending and the waters of rebirth, of rest, of reward, sometimes death, in a symbolic form. It is also your spirit energy and your connection with the higher Soul/Spirit/Energy. Put one card here. Then place one card in the center.
Each of the four Elemental cards is a message-- acknowledgment of efforts and steps already taken, and messages to help you process those things and take the next step-- move toward the best possible self-- in each of these areas. You start, however, with the center card. It represents you (or the person you are reading) as they are at this moment or time in their lives. If the person you are reading does not feel this card is on target-- don't bother reading the rest of the cards, because you are not channeling for them at this time, and the reading would be a waste of energy for you both.
As I shuffle the cards, I often have one that "jumps out" or falls out of the deck. I take these as special messages for the focus of the reading, not connected with anything but a question in their minds, a message they need to hear at this point in their lives. To me, these are Goddess Cards. And I often make a pile of cards to the side of the Element Circle of Goddess Cards-- the ones that come next in the deck after the circle and center have been drawn. Sometimes it is only one card, sometimes (like today) it is four or five. Sometimes I don't pull until I've shuffled again, and sometimes enough Goddess Cards leap out that I don't bother pulling more. Often, the reading of the Circle is just a preliminary focusing of energy and opening of awareness so that the person being read can take in the greater importance of the message carried by the Goddess Cards. Sometimes the message they carry is so accurate that all we can do is laugh. And this feels good, too.
I picked a deck of Tarot cards whose focus is on learning and growing in harmony with life and with the goal of attaining the Best Self-- there are no bad cards in my deck. I know there are bad situations in life, but I think that the cards don't usually need to tell us when we've experienced them. Instead, we need the wisdom to learn, grow, and overcome the bad. To move beyond whatever is unhealthy or is holding us back in our lives-- in our creativity-- in our self-expression-- in our Spirit Journey. And this is what my Tarot cards are intended to do. For all that death is part of life and of the great circle, and ending is required to gain new beginnings, there is no Death Card in my Tarot.
This also makes it unusual.
Find what is right for you.
And Blessings Be.
-Saphoro
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