When I was a little girl, my mom taught me to ignore the annoying kids in my class, and maybe then they'd get bored and go away. As a strategy, it worked fairly well. Certainly, the parents and teachers loved my "adult approach" to problems.
By the time I was in third grade, I was such a good little two-shoes that the teacher, Mrs. Z, put me in the seat between two of the most disruptive goof-offs in class. Both named Aaron. Problem was that they were funny and interesting, and the conversations that went on behind my head weren't always that easy to ignore. I tell you, bad boys just have more fun.
In sixth grade, a boy with a really tough life figured he could out-annoy my tactic of "ignore and avoid." And eventually, he was right. I caught the attention of a teacher and explained the challenge I was having with locker-access between classes, since JO was always there to slam the locker shut for me again. When the teacher explained to JO that his homeroom teacher was my dad... Well, he left me alone after that. And I continued to ignore him.
In eighth grade, a different boy went straight from annoy to abuse. And no matter how hard I ignored him, I still went home from school every day with extra bruises. Eventually I again approached a teacher for help. This time it took a while, but eventually the kid's parents decided it was in his best interests to pretend I didn't exist, and I was allowed to get on with my life. We both worked hard to ignore and avoid each other for the whole four years of high school, where we both played violin in Orchestra class every day.
My first serious boyfriend was in high school... And he often forgot to show up for our planned dates and get-togethers and such. He often ignored my phone calls, too. I worked very hard to ignore the things I didn't like in our relationship because I wanted to succeed with him the same way I'd learned to succeed in school as a little girl. His other girlfriend-- when I found out about her-- was a bit harder to overlook. So I decided to ignore them both.
Add six years, a different guy, a wedding... and you have my marriage. In which I learned to ignore my own needs, my feelings, and my right to be treated with respect. Because that was the only way my marriage was going to succeed. And I didn't want to be the bad guy. Ignore the annoyance-- the way the boy in the seat next to you is goofing off and making bad choices in his life and generally distracting you from your work and your goals-- and it'll stop. Right?
So here I am. Knowing already that I am not Cinderella (in other words, no magic wand or prince charming to make it all better)... And I am facing the fact (again) that my most-used coping mechanism for things that bother/annoy/frustrate me... is to ignore them, and hope they go away. Some life skill. It didn't work in my marriage. It sure isn't working on my financial and job woes. Or on my cat's arthritis, come to that. And it's all gotten a bit over my head, really... But the thing I just tripped over is the realization that there's no teacher to go to for help on this one... And the last few teachers (or Argmy Commanders) I went to weren't always that helpful in the situation anyway.
So now I'm thinking--
Maybe we should teach little girls Aikido or Brazilian Ju-Jitsu, and encourage them to confront life's frustrations HEAD-F*ING-ON!! Because we sure aren't doing them any favors by training them to believe that being nice and pretending the problem doesn't exist will make everything in their life okay.
I'm just saying is all...
Showing posts with label Kitchen Wisdom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kitchen Wisdom. Show all posts
Saturday
Friday
Shoveling it
Today, I mucked out a barn.
Back a few months ago when I dreamed of myself doing this, I woke in utter disbelief that such could EVER be true. I mean, this is ME we're talking about. But today, it was. I actually volunteered.
See, through one of the random blogs that I follow-- maybe it was one about urban homesteading, or no, maybe that one about sustainability-- anyway, I found a link to this one Family Farm. And discovered that they need volunteers, and they give you a whole talk-and-tour to get you familiar with the farm and the jobs that need doing.
And I thought-- Hey. I want to create a mini homestead/garden/farm someday when I've paid off my debts and have enough money to buy a few acres of south-slope land... Maybe I should get a better idea of what I'm getting into. Maybe I should find out what it's REALLY like to have an organic garden and some goats and chickens and sheep, etc.
I'm also in the process of working to strengthen and balance and ACCESS my First Chakra-- my Root. The one that has to do with the earth, and security, and grounding and the physical body. What could be more Root Chakra-centric than spending an afternoon working on a farm?! Farms are homes that include food, earth, animals, and all those natural processes and cycles and bodily functions that we associate with the Root Chakra. And it was really quite grounding to be out there and to do that. Sun, wind, dirt, straw, water, goats, pitchforks and wheelbarrows...
So today was Orientation Day for volunteers at the Family Farm. I love it out there. It really reaffirmed that what I want is attainable, and that I'd be happy having it. It also reaffirmed something I already knew-- Goats like me. I mean, these were just generally friendly goats and all, but... seriously. Goats like me.
It took two hours to meet all the creatures and see all the watering buckets/troughs/etc that need regular cleaning and filling (one of the four approved jobs for volunteers on the farm-- mucking out the three barns, the chicken coops, and the mini barn that houses Waldo is another). Then, since I did drive a whole hour to GET there, I decided I had time to muck out one of the barns before driving home again. And I did have time. What I didn't have was stamina.
So the biggest, stinkiest, most-in-need-of-mucking barn on the Family Farm has three sections. I did the biggest one. And I couldn't do any more. In fact, I'm really glad my blister didn't get a blister. I'm even MORE glad I thought to bring my work gloves. And a change of shoes. And I'm glad I didn't fall asleep on the drive home from the farm (in my nice clean spare shoes-- the ones that didn't have muck all over them). Since I was the one driving. But seriously, I was that worn out. Muck is heavy.
And did you know that fresh farm eggs that are unwashed last longer, and don't need refrigeration? If you wash them, you have to pay attention to which is warmer-- the water or the egg. Because the egg shell is actually really porous, and bad bacteria go toward the warmest thing-- so you want a cold egg and warm water to wash it in. And you don't want to store your eggs in with your salmon or your onions, if you plan to make a cake. I have a whole yummy dozen washed farm-fresh eggs in my fridge right now. They're making me very happy. Because every time I remember I've got these awesome fresh Family Farm eggs to cook with, I also remember how awesome my day was today while I was AT the Family Farm. Happy-Happy.
I've got some researching to do for the Family Farm from home (hell0--LIBRARIAN!!), and I think I'll try to make it out there again in a couple three weeks to do something slightly less intense like watering the chickens or something. I'm definitely going back. I want more eggs, for one thing. And I'm definitely sleeping well tonight. Just as soon as I rinse out my nose with something that doesn't smell like the month-old backside of a male goat. Apparently, the male goats stink more than the females. Made perfect sense to me.
And when I get my own land, I'm starting with vegetables. And herbs. And a couple of fruit trees. And maybe a few chickens. But nothing that requires mucking. Or castrating. And I learned that I need to add an "egg-cleaning station" to my dream home design. And probably a small barn and an extra fridge to store all my gardening produce and equipment, my spare bales of hay, my chickens, my wheelbarrows, and the muck I buy from my neighbors once or twice a year.
sigh... Who knew bliss would smell like THAT?!
Back a few months ago when I dreamed of myself doing this, I woke in utter disbelief that such could EVER be true. I mean, this is ME we're talking about. But today, it was. I actually volunteered.
See, through one of the random blogs that I follow-- maybe it was one about urban homesteading, or no, maybe that one about sustainability-- anyway, I found a link to this one Family Farm. And discovered that they need volunteers, and they give you a whole talk-and-tour to get you familiar with the farm and the jobs that need doing.
And I thought-- Hey. I want to create a mini homestead/garden/farm someday when I've paid off my debts and have enough money to buy a few acres of south-slope land... Maybe I should get a better idea of what I'm getting into. Maybe I should find out what it's REALLY like to have an organic garden and some goats and chickens and sheep, etc.
I'm also in the process of working to strengthen and balance and ACCESS my First Chakra-- my Root. The one that has to do with the earth, and security, and grounding and the physical body. What could be more Root Chakra-centric than spending an afternoon working on a farm?! Farms are homes that include food, earth, animals, and all those natural processes and cycles and bodily functions that we associate with the Root Chakra. And it was really quite grounding to be out there and to do that. Sun, wind, dirt, straw, water, goats, pitchforks and wheelbarrows...
So today was Orientation Day for volunteers at the Family Farm. I love it out there. It really reaffirmed that what I want is attainable, and that I'd be happy having it. It also reaffirmed something I already knew-- Goats like me. I mean, these were just generally friendly goats and all, but... seriously. Goats like me.
It took two hours to meet all the creatures and see all the watering buckets/troughs/etc that need regular cleaning and filling (one of the four approved jobs for volunteers on the farm-- mucking out the three barns, the chicken coops, and the mini barn that houses Waldo is another). Then, since I did drive a whole hour to GET there, I decided I had time to muck out one of the barns before driving home again. And I did have time. What I didn't have was stamina.
So the biggest, stinkiest, most-in-need-of-mucking barn on the Family Farm has three sections. I did the biggest one. And I couldn't do any more. In fact, I'm really glad my blister didn't get a blister. I'm even MORE glad I thought to bring my work gloves. And a change of shoes. And I'm glad I didn't fall asleep on the drive home from the farm (in my nice clean spare shoes-- the ones that didn't have muck all over them). Since I was the one driving. But seriously, I was that worn out. Muck is heavy.
And did you know that fresh farm eggs that are unwashed last longer, and don't need refrigeration? If you wash them, you have to pay attention to which is warmer-- the water or the egg. Because the egg shell is actually really porous, and bad bacteria go toward the warmest thing-- so you want a cold egg and warm water to wash it in. And you don't want to store your eggs in with your salmon or your onions, if you plan to make a cake. I have a whole yummy dozen washed farm-fresh eggs in my fridge right now. They're making me very happy. Because every time I remember I've got these awesome fresh Family Farm eggs to cook with, I also remember how awesome my day was today while I was AT the Family Farm. Happy-Happy.
I've got some researching to do for the Family Farm from home (hell0--LIBRARIAN!!), and I think I'll try to make it out there again in a couple three weeks to do something slightly less intense like watering the chickens or something. I'm definitely going back. I want more eggs, for one thing. And I'm definitely sleeping well tonight. Just as soon as I rinse out my nose with something that doesn't smell like the month-old backside of a male goat. Apparently, the male goats stink more than the females. Made perfect sense to me.
And when I get my own land, I'm starting with vegetables. And herbs. And a couple of fruit trees. And maybe a few chickens. But nothing that requires mucking. Or castrating. And I learned that I need to add an "egg-cleaning station" to my dream home design. And probably a small barn and an extra fridge to store all my gardening produce and equipment, my spare bales of hay, my chickens, my wheelbarrows, and the muck I buy from my neighbors once or twice a year.
sigh... Who knew bliss would smell like THAT?!
Saturday
Colors of the Season
Ornamental chili peppers are purple, red, orange and yellow-- all on the same branch. The leaves on the trees are doing the same thing, and the colors are beautiful. Orange and yellow and green pumpkins-- and hey, the leaves are doing that, too! Yummy squash, ornamental corn, warm soups and bonfires. It is a beautiful time of year!
Sunday
Hopps
A friend asked me to make her husband some tea to help him sleep. He's a chronic insomniac, and it's getting ridiculous. I'm very excited to do this, and although I don't know how successful I will be, I'm giving it a try.
So I used Melissa (Lemon Balm) for its calming and sleep-encouraging properties, and some Nettle to help him breathe. I put in St. John's Wort because it relaxes the nerves, and Feverfew because it is sometimes said to relax the mind. I also put in Peppermint to help with digestive problems and Stivia to help with the taste. Then, I put in almost as much Hopps as I'd put in all the other ingredients combined. Hopps are for sleeping.
Because my Hopps came in their dried "flower" form, I used my mortar and pestle to grind them into individual leaves, if not into a bit of powder. Not very many Hopps makes a lot of Hopp Petals, you see. And about 20 minutes after I did that, I took a nap. Which convinced me of the sleep-inducing powers of the Hopps. See, I slept in this morning. Late. And I'd only been up and about for maybe an hour when I ground the Hopps, breathed them in as I did so (no choice there, really), and used my fingers to dust off my grinding tool. Then I slept quite peacefully for about two or three hours. Imagine if I'd tried a cup of the tea!
So I'm going to try my Sleepy Tea blend tonight at bedtime to see how it tastes and how I react-- Hopps are supposed to taste pretty bitter-- and then I'm going to pass it along to my friend, with instructions.
You see, medicinal tea needs to be steeped for at least ten to twenty minutes. Without a tea bag. And I want him to stop eating, watching TV, and using a computer about 30 minutes before he wants to sleep-- right when he should start sipping his tea. I also want him to make a big mug of it each night, and only drink half. I want the other half by his bed, so when he wakes at 2am, he can drink it down, maybe use some alternative breathing/relaxing exercises, and go back to sleep. I also want to explain that most experts suggest it can take as much as 2 weeks to a month to get the full results of a medicinal tea. I don't want him to give up if there is no improvement the first night he tries this.
In the meantime, I'll be grinding the rest of my stash of Hopps into a tea blend for ME to get better sleep (on an as-needed basis)... but I'll wait until right before bedtime to do it. Apparently, Hopps can be very effective.
So I used Melissa (Lemon Balm) for its calming and sleep-encouraging properties, and some Nettle to help him breathe. I put in St. John's Wort because it relaxes the nerves, and Feverfew because it is sometimes said to relax the mind. I also put in Peppermint to help with digestive problems and Stivia to help with the taste. Then, I put in almost as much Hopps as I'd put in all the other ingredients combined. Hopps are for sleeping.
Because my Hopps came in their dried "flower" form, I used my mortar and pestle to grind them into individual leaves, if not into a bit of powder. Not very many Hopps makes a lot of Hopp Petals, you see. And about 20 minutes after I did that, I took a nap. Which convinced me of the sleep-inducing powers of the Hopps. See, I slept in this morning. Late. And I'd only been up and about for maybe an hour when I ground the Hopps, breathed them in as I did so (no choice there, really), and used my fingers to dust off my grinding tool. Then I slept quite peacefully for about two or three hours. Imagine if I'd tried a cup of the tea!
So I'm going to try my Sleepy Tea blend tonight at bedtime to see how it tastes and how I react-- Hopps are supposed to taste pretty bitter-- and then I'm going to pass it along to my friend, with instructions.
You see, medicinal tea needs to be steeped for at least ten to twenty minutes. Without a tea bag. And I want him to stop eating, watching TV, and using a computer about 30 minutes before he wants to sleep-- right when he should start sipping his tea. I also want him to make a big mug of it each night, and only drink half. I want the other half by his bed, so when he wakes at 2am, he can drink it down, maybe use some alternative breathing/relaxing exercises, and go back to sleep. I also want to explain that most experts suggest it can take as much as 2 weeks to a month to get the full results of a medicinal tea. I don't want him to give up if there is no improvement the first night he tries this.
In the meantime, I'll be grinding the rest of my stash of Hopps into a tea blend for ME to get better sleep (on an as-needed basis)... but I'll wait until right before bedtime to do it. Apparently, Hopps can be very effective.
Food Poisoning
So, when you vomit, my EO books recommend rubbing ginger essential oil on your tummy, and smelling lavendar and peppermint to soothe your system. Those are nice, and I actually recommend putting a bit of peppermint oil in a spray bottle with a lot of water, to spray on your tongue and cool down your mouth when you've been puking bile.
However, the only thing I've found that actually resets my sensitive stomach so that I can STOP vomiting, and start replenishing my electrolytes and fluids, is flat soda pop. Really. I mix about half a cup of seven-up or sprite (flat) into half a cup of water, and take about a sip a minute, and my whole system calms down, and nothing comes up again for a while. Now I can't go straight from that to having meals or gulping down water-- but at least I don't end up in the emergency room for dehydration and continued dry-heaving (when you vomit but there's nothing left to bring up).
It's the only time I drink pop. But, better still, don't get food poisoning in the first place. Be smart, carry lemon EO for your water, and travel well.
However, the only thing I've found that actually resets my sensitive stomach so that I can STOP vomiting, and start replenishing my electrolytes and fluids, is flat soda pop. Really. I mix about half a cup of seven-up or sprite (flat) into half a cup of water, and take about a sip a minute, and my whole system calms down, and nothing comes up again for a while. Now I can't go straight from that to having meals or gulping down water-- but at least I don't end up in the emergency room for dehydration and continued dry-heaving (when you vomit but there's nothing left to bring up).
It's the only time I drink pop. But, better still, don't get food poisoning in the first place. Be smart, carry lemon EO for your water, and travel well.
Monday
Birch Bark and St John
I've recently discovered (as many before me have done) two wonderful herbs for managing nerve and joint pain. That pain that the headache medicines like Tylenol don't touch, because it is not a muscle, it is a nerve getting pinched or pulled or twisted or bruised-- you know that pain? Sometimes it tingles like you hit your funny bone, and sometimes it aches like the blood flow to the whole limb has been cut off, and sometimes you just WANT to cut the limb off and be done with it...
Well, adding a little birch bark and some St. John's Wort to your tea can help with that. Willow bark is where aspirin came from 2,000 years ago, so it's good for headaches and cramps and muscles-- but birch bark helps arthritis and joints and all those places that your nerve can get caught and tweaked. And while we all know that St. John's Wort is good for memory-- its original purpose was actually to alleviate pain. And it still works for that, too. Just don't use too much at a time. You probably want to consult an experienced herbalist or check out an herbal healing book from the library to consult before you decide what is right for you... but I thought you might like to know what's possible. I sure do.
Well, adding a little birch bark and some St. John's Wort to your tea can help with that. Willow bark is where aspirin came from 2,000 years ago, so it's good for headaches and cramps and muscles-- but birch bark helps arthritis and joints and all those places that your nerve can get caught and tweaked. And while we all know that St. John's Wort is good for memory-- its original purpose was actually to alleviate pain. And it still works for that, too. Just don't use too much at a time. You probably want to consult an experienced herbalist or check out an herbal healing book from the library to consult before you decide what is right for you... but I thought you might like to know what's possible. I sure do.
Wednesday
Celebrate!
Happy Harvest Festival! Did you celebrate August-Eve last night? And today-- are you making or finding some great bread-cakes with lots of harvest grains and honey to celebrate the harvest? Are you honoring the sun and the summer heat? The turning of the wheel, and the bounty of the Goddess all around us? Set aside some time, and light a yellow candle after the sun goes down. Think about the bounty in your own life-- meditate on Abundance. What do you want your next harvest to include? What joys have you already encountered in this year? Dance, laugh. Celebrate!
Tuesday
Wisdom and Books
Over the past several weeks, I've been reading bits out of several different books of knowledge. One is a reconstructed history of the Celtic mythology and belief systems around certain trees-- the holly and the oak, for example. The other books are about shamanism and Native American wisdom-- the wisdom of the First People. I've also been drying rose petals, applying for jobs, wrapping up one internship and starting another, and trying not to let any of this interfere with my school work. After all, I've only got until December to finish my Masters.
-The Wisdom of Trees b Jane Gifford
-Earthborn Wisdom by Susan Wells
-Wisdomkeepers by Steve Wall and Harvey Arden
-Poems by Nancy Wood
I'm taking a course in Children's Literature this summer, and it has afforded me great opportunities to browse the children's sections at my local library. One collection of fairy tales that I stumbled across and love for their Pagan qualities is called Moon Ribbon, by Jane Yolen. It constantly amazes and delights me, how insightful and wise children's books can be. I also highly recommend Twelve Months of Monastery Soups if you want a good seasonal cookbook and love one-pot meals like I do. Whatever else I am, I don't think you could ever accuse me of being a purist.
Blessings
-The Wisdom of Trees b Jane Gifford
-Earthborn Wisdom by Susan Wells
-Wisdomkeepers by Steve Wall and Harvey Arden
-Poems by Nancy Wood
I'm taking a course in Children's Literature this summer, and it has afforded me great opportunities to browse the children's sections at my local library. One collection of fairy tales that I stumbled across and love for their Pagan qualities is called Moon Ribbon, by Jane Yolen. It constantly amazes and delights me, how insightful and wise children's books can be. I also highly recommend Twelve Months of Monastery Soups if you want a good seasonal cookbook and love one-pot meals like I do. Whatever else I am, I don't think you could ever accuse me of being a purist.
Blessings
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