So I'm part of a monthly Journaling Group through SisterSpirit. SS is a local nonprofit whose focus is on providing safe space for women to practice their personal spirituality, with an emphasis on Paganism. And they offer a lot of donation-based monthly workshops.
So the one I'm personally most at home in is the Journaling Workshop. We usually have a set theme for so many months in a row, and then a new set theme. Our last theme was so amazing and powerful-- we journaled our way through the seven primary chakras. Now, we are creating our own Tarot decks. For me, these two topics have become entwined in a really wonderful way.
I find myself working more and more with the concepts of Chakra energies in the body. And while my special Tarot Deck, the Medicine Woman Cards, are truly a gift to work with... There are more symbols that hold various personal meanings to me. And I wanted to find a way to access those symbols as I do the messages in the Tarot. So I started by making lists of symbols I find important in my spiritual journey-- symbols found either in my reading and research into various existing sets of symbols (like the Trees or the Chakras), or in my personal life story.
And I promptly got very overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the list. Our world is FULL of meaningful symbology. So I decided to start with something simple and central. I decided to start with the Chakras. With the first Chakra-- Root Chakra. I made two cards that to me hold so much power and meaning that they have become precious and beautiful. Then I bogged down. And right about that time, SS Journaling took up the "make your own Tarot Deck" mission. I got inspired all over again. And I've done the preliminary work on any number of cards since then. I'm not done, either. There are a lot of workshops left to Journal my way through, and I'm staying open to inspiration as those meetings of spirit and pen emerge.
What I find is that the cards I've made that I am most drawn to-- their power and their intuitive meaning-- are the ones most specifically geared to my personal awareness of symbols in my life. For example, I find Universal Wisdom most clearly represented in two forms-- the Guide in the Forest, and the Wise Old Fish. And I've combined those two forms over a background of stars. I just love that card. I could spend a long time sitting and meditating on Universal Wisdom, with that card in my hand as a focal point.
There are other cards that hold a more general meaning-- the symbols are ones easily identified by more than just me. For example, I have an intricate glittery silver fabric, and inset over it is a moon with horns and wings. The Goddess, in a somewhat traditional form. Silver. The Moon. Wings. Cow Horns. And while I think it's important to have a Goddess card in my deck... I am not particularly drawn to the one I've created.
I may need to try again. To look with a more specific eye to my personal intuitive and internal representations of the concept of Goddess. A fiery mountain, a woman standing with her feet in the water, a lit candle, a windy night. A sense of Her strong will and Her power-- filtered by Her love for all living things, and the elements that are Her tools.
Maybe that would draw me to contemplation of deeper things like the fish and the trees. Maybe She is already sprinkled throughout other meaningful cards in my deck. The footprint in the ocean. The heart-shaped leaves on a bed of menstrual blood. The hearth fire of Hestia, the apple and the carafe of herbs, marked with a star for healing.
And with this energy and strength to CREATE flowing through me so strongly, it is harder still to buckle down to my work of applying for mundane paying day jobs. Jobs I need in order to keep body and soul together. Sigh. It is so tempting to live fully in the light of Spirit, and forget the shadow of the Mountain in whose caves grain must be stored for the winter.
In fact, I've tapped so strongly into my creative strength of late that I dream of being pregnant. Of creating something vital and dependent on me for its health and well-being in the world-- something physical and precious. An embodiment of what I have to give the world that is good. But the day job has not emerged, even while the life work has been clear for months. And so I dream over and over of being pregnant, and of lacking the resources and the strength to take charge of my (and my baby's) destiny.
In every dream, I am never the one who drives my car. I am too busy trying to make safe spaces in the car for the baby that represents my pregnant potential, and for any other living being in the car who is dependent on me for their safety-- and I lose my chance to be the one driving and determining where we will all end up. Me and my creativity and my life work. Maybe it is time I trust it to take care of itself, while I take charge of my own car, and drive directly and sturdily to where I really want to go. I'm tired of being forced (by my fear of failure to birth/protect this wondrous thing I hold inside) to take a back seat in my own life.
Showing posts with label Healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Healing. Show all posts
Friday
Feeling Green
So I'm in this totally AWESOME Journaling Group that meets once a month. It's an all-women group hosted by SisterSpirit, and we talk (and write) about self-knowledge, wisdom, intuition and-- this year-- ourselves in relation to each of the seven chakras.
This month, we are focusing on Fourth Chakra. Heart Chakra. It's green, and gold. Here are some of the things that this particular embodied energy focal point is about:
generosity, transformation, balance, awareness of universal consciousness, wealth, imagination, determination, will power, the heart and upper back, circulatory system and immune system
It is the element of Air, and the sense of Touch. It is the heart of emotional healing, personal evolution, and clear vision. It is said that if you truly want to manifest something in your life, you have to envision it with your Heart, and not just with your Mind. The Heart Chakra is the center of the chakra system in that it connects the three higher and the three lower chakras. Through this chakra, we learn to get in touch with our core being and our inner truth. It is the balance point of the higher self and how we manifest that self here in the mundane world. "As Above, So Below." (Some of this is quoted from VJ's notes for our group. Thanks VJ!)
And after writing and thinking about this for a bit, I had the realization that WEALTH and DOLLARS are a part of that healing Green Energy of the Fourth Chakra. Who Knew?? And that when I do finally dig myself out of debt and have money to spare, my heart's desire is to buy land and create spiritual and physical sanctuary on it, using (guess what!) Green Building techniques, and Green Energy sources-- in a more mundane sense of the words. To create a place of healing. So in a fairly direct way, me receiving money (which just happens to be green in our culture) allows me to give healing in bigger and better ways, the more money I receive. It allows me to magnify the amount of green heart-healing energy I give back to the world. Through my very use of money, it becomes a green energy in and of itself.
I know-- it's crazy.
For someone who actually has felt rather dirty about accepting money to heal people and be their Life Coach in an eternal Wise Woman sort of way... this was a real revelation. I heal emotional issues for my clients-- and I do it through the chakra energy of my heart. Green Energy.
And suddenly, I'm coming to terms with the reality that if I DON'T get paid in money what my healing energy is worth, I won't have the basic building blocks (food, clothing, shelter, freedom from debilitating debts) that I need if I want to stay energized and capable of helping others to heal. I've had this block against earning money for what I just naturally do. Money is not natural. I knew the block was there, but I didn't seem able to budge it. And this week, my Journaling Group changed all that.
So I thought I'd share. I'm really thrilled, actually. I finally understand ENERGETICALLY how important the money piece is to the whole healing circle of green energy in today's world. I'm finally making peace with the role money plays in my life. I'm learning not to resent my need for money. If I'm lucky, this might even make it easier for me to draw money-- and opportunities to earn money-- into my life path.
And now that I'm beyond the shock and awe of having that particular personal block to a healthy relationship with money just ...disintegrate... I'm starting to realize how unhealthy our whole nation's relationship with money is right now. I mean, here are some signs of a blocked Heart Chakra:
Feelings of jealousy, indifference, loneliness. Becoming needy, grabby, or demanding. Asking others for love and fulfillment, rather than looking within for self-love and self-fulfillment. Fear, despair, hate, longing. Pretending we don't need other people. Pretending we can cope with everything the world and life throws at us-- all by ourselves, alone.
And I thought, what a perfect description of the relationship I have had (and I think most of us have in this flailing economy) with money. It's amazing what a perfectly nice person will do to someone else, even someone they love, once money enters the picture. For myself, I've been jealous of those who have money. I've felt desperate to get or earn money. I often looked to others and their ways of earning and spending, instead of focusing on the relationship *I* want to build with money, and the strengths and abilities I want to use to earn it.
I have spent the last five years in a constant state of financial fear. I have hated my dependence on money, and yet I longed to have more of it. I have pretended all was well, in my financial world, while quickly falling into debt and despair. And I have insisted that I shouldn't need money-- or help with my budget and/or cash flow-- to get by. I have bought into the myth that talking about money, and my relationship to it, is shameful.
I've been very unhealthy and wrong and just BLOCKED, without even knowing HOW I was blocked and unhealthy. All I knew was that I had to find some way to unblock if I wanted to actually be able to have money come into my life (ie: income), rather than always watching it leave. And now, I'm excited to understand that money doesn't have to be evil. I begin to feel GOOD about my potential to earn large quantities of it. Because I spend large quantities of energy doing good work for other people (and therefore for myself) and for the Earth.
It is fair and reasonable that I be recompensed in a format that enables me to keep doing what I do-- only better. I'm excited to learn how much MORE I can do as a healer now that I've finally unblocked my Heart Chakra. And I'm curious to see the effects of finally allowing my definitions of "Abundance" and "Wealth" to include financial well-being, and an abundance of income. My definitions remain very broad-- but I realize now that it's okay to wish for not only an abundance of good friends, good food, good health, and good experiences-- but also to look for a good income as a vital part of truly Abundant Living. Wish me well-- it's turning out to be quite a journey.
This month, we are focusing on Fourth Chakra. Heart Chakra. It's green, and gold. Here are some of the things that this particular embodied energy focal point is about:
generosity, transformation, balance, awareness of universal consciousness, wealth, imagination, determination, will power, the heart and upper back, circulatory system and immune system
It is the element of Air, and the sense of Touch. It is the heart of emotional healing, personal evolution, and clear vision. It is said that if you truly want to manifest something in your life, you have to envision it with your Heart, and not just with your Mind. The Heart Chakra is the center of the chakra system in that it connects the three higher and the three lower chakras. Through this chakra, we learn to get in touch with our core being and our inner truth. It is the balance point of the higher self and how we manifest that self here in the mundane world. "As Above, So Below." (Some of this is quoted from VJ's notes for our group. Thanks VJ!)
And after writing and thinking about this for a bit, I had the realization that WEALTH and DOLLARS are a part of that healing Green Energy of the Fourth Chakra. Who Knew?? And that when I do finally dig myself out of debt and have money to spare, my heart's desire is to buy land and create spiritual and physical sanctuary on it, using (guess what!) Green Building techniques, and Green Energy sources-- in a more mundane sense of the words. To create a place of healing. So in a fairly direct way, me receiving money (which just happens to be green in our culture) allows me to give healing in bigger and better ways, the more money I receive. It allows me to magnify the amount of green heart-healing energy I give back to the world. Through my very use of money, it becomes a green energy in and of itself.
I know-- it's crazy.
For someone who actually has felt rather dirty about accepting money to heal people and be their Life Coach in an eternal Wise Woman sort of way... this was a real revelation. I heal emotional issues for my clients-- and I do it through the chakra energy of my heart. Green Energy.
And suddenly, I'm coming to terms with the reality that if I DON'T get paid in money what my healing energy is worth, I won't have the basic building blocks (food, clothing, shelter, freedom from debilitating debts) that I need if I want to stay energized and capable of helping others to heal. I've had this block against earning money for what I just naturally do. Money is not natural. I knew the block was there, but I didn't seem able to budge it. And this week, my Journaling Group changed all that.
So I thought I'd share. I'm really thrilled, actually. I finally understand ENERGETICALLY how important the money piece is to the whole healing circle of green energy in today's world. I'm finally making peace with the role money plays in my life. I'm learning not to resent my need for money. If I'm lucky, this might even make it easier for me to draw money-- and opportunities to earn money-- into my life path.
And now that I'm beyond the shock and awe of having that particular personal block to a healthy relationship with money just ...disintegrate... I'm starting to realize how unhealthy our whole nation's relationship with money is right now. I mean, here are some signs of a blocked Heart Chakra:
Feelings of jealousy, indifference, loneliness. Becoming needy, grabby, or demanding. Asking others for love and fulfillment, rather than looking within for self-love and self-fulfillment. Fear, despair, hate, longing. Pretending we don't need other people. Pretending we can cope with everything the world and life throws at us-- all by ourselves, alone.
And I thought, what a perfect description of the relationship I have had (and I think most of us have in this flailing economy) with money. It's amazing what a perfectly nice person will do to someone else, even someone they love, once money enters the picture. For myself, I've been jealous of those who have money. I've felt desperate to get or earn money. I often looked to others and their ways of earning and spending, instead of focusing on the relationship *I* want to build with money, and the strengths and abilities I want to use to earn it.
I have spent the last five years in a constant state of financial fear. I have hated my dependence on money, and yet I longed to have more of it. I have pretended all was well, in my financial world, while quickly falling into debt and despair. And I have insisted that I shouldn't need money-- or help with my budget and/or cash flow-- to get by. I have bought into the myth that talking about money, and my relationship to it, is shameful.
I've been very unhealthy and wrong and just BLOCKED, without even knowing HOW I was blocked and unhealthy. All I knew was that I had to find some way to unblock if I wanted to actually be able to have money come into my life (ie: income), rather than always watching it leave. And now, I'm excited to understand that money doesn't have to be evil. I begin to feel GOOD about my potential to earn large quantities of it. Because I spend large quantities of energy doing good work for other people (and therefore for myself) and for the Earth.
It is fair and reasonable that I be recompensed in a format that enables me to keep doing what I do-- only better. I'm excited to learn how much MORE I can do as a healer now that I've finally unblocked my Heart Chakra. And I'm curious to see the effects of finally allowing my definitions of "Abundance" and "Wealth" to include financial well-being, and an abundance of income. My definitions remain very broad-- but I realize now that it's okay to wish for not only an abundance of good friends, good food, good health, and good experiences-- but also to look for a good income as a vital part of truly Abundant Living. Wish me well-- it's turning out to be quite a journey.
Wednesday
At the Root
I've been working to strengthen my Root Chakra lately. (Strength is important-- particularly when you've got a cat lying on your arms and you're trying to type.) It has been a roller-coaster couple of weeks, and the timing for having my Root Chakra nice and strong couldn't be better.
Calamity comes in all shapes and sizes, and a bunch of my dear friends have been faced with one calamity or another in the past week or two. And it's a relief to support them all without having to also feel all their pain for them. I used to take on other folks' emotions-- still do sometimes-- but at this point, I've done enough work as a Life Coach/Tarot Reader to be able to separate what *I* am feeling on my own behalf from what I am feeling on SOMEONE ELSE'S behalf.
And so I was tired from all the energy I (gladly) used in support of my friends coping with life-crisis stuff... but I wasn't emotionally overwhelmed or incapacitated by all the grief. And I'm really proud of myself for that.
The Root Chakra, by the way, is the one in charge of our connection with the Earth, our sense of security and belonging, our financial and physical well-being, our safety, our solidity in whatever we are trying to accomplish with our lives, and how well-grounded we are in the way we cope with challenges and with daily life. The Root Chakra is set up and nourished the most strongly in the first two years of our lives. It is the First Chakra, and it is the foundation on which all other Chakra work is done. If your Root Chakra isn't strong, its hard for the rest of you to be strong. Each chakra has a purpose in relation to the others-- and in relation to our life-patterns. And each chakra has a specific "right" attached to it-- like the right to fair representation, only that isn't one of them. For the Root Chakra, you have the right to be here; and the right to have.
It was a weird sort of awareness for me to realize that I've spent most of my life working really hard to make other people look good, and help other people achieve their dreams/goals/successes. And I've spent the last several years not really believing I had a right to my own success, or to use my skills and experiences and abilities to make MYSELF look good. No wonder it's been so hard to find a good-paying job. I never felt like I deserved one!
This whole awareness process started with my SisterSpirit Journaling Group. This session, we are devoting a whole month to each of our chakras. So we started by journaling about our interaction with the Root Chakra's particular meaning and how it shows up in our lives... And since my Instructor says that the Root Chakra is the most solid, and thus takes the most time to really shift or change out of its current form, she gave us the homework of thinking/writing/doing yoga in connection with our Root Chakra every day for the whole month until our next Journaling Group meeting in May.
Now, I know I've been having Root Chakra issues. And reading about my right to have (as in-- have respect, have a safe & secure home, have a good-paying job that I love, have a relationship with someone who really appreciates me, etc) well, it really sank in that I have some foundation work to do-- some Root work, if you will. I've made a point of focusing on that stuff for a few minutes every day. And I can feel the difference. I'm a lot better grounded than I was a few weeks ago. Thank goodness, considering all the challenges that have come up since then.
Even the visit to the Family Farm couldn't have been better-timed. OH-- and I finally broke down and bought some freeze-dried nettle leaf capsules (instead of relying solely on my home-brew nettle tincture)-- and they are SO controlling my allergies with NO side effects!!! YAY for uninterrupted sleep!! (Except of course, that Abbigale continues to throw up a little too frequently this week, and I had to jump out of bed an hour before my alarm so I could give her some tummy meds-- which did work this time, thank goodness!)
May your Way be strewn with fulfillment, and the blessings of a life well-lived.
Calamity comes in all shapes and sizes, and a bunch of my dear friends have been faced with one calamity or another in the past week or two. And it's a relief to support them all without having to also feel all their pain for them. I used to take on other folks' emotions-- still do sometimes-- but at this point, I've done enough work as a Life Coach/Tarot Reader to be able to separate what *I* am feeling on my own behalf from what I am feeling on SOMEONE ELSE'S behalf.
And so I was tired from all the energy I (gladly) used in support of my friends coping with life-crisis stuff... but I wasn't emotionally overwhelmed or incapacitated by all the grief. And I'm really proud of myself for that.
The Root Chakra, by the way, is the one in charge of our connection with the Earth, our sense of security and belonging, our financial and physical well-being, our safety, our solidity in whatever we are trying to accomplish with our lives, and how well-grounded we are in the way we cope with challenges and with daily life. The Root Chakra is set up and nourished the most strongly in the first two years of our lives. It is the First Chakra, and it is the foundation on which all other Chakra work is done. If your Root Chakra isn't strong, its hard for the rest of you to be strong. Each chakra has a purpose in relation to the others-- and in relation to our life-patterns. And each chakra has a specific "right" attached to it-- like the right to fair representation, only that isn't one of them. For the Root Chakra, you have the right to be here; and the right to have.
It was a weird sort of awareness for me to realize that I've spent most of my life working really hard to make other people look good, and help other people achieve their dreams/goals/successes. And I've spent the last several years not really believing I had a right to my own success, or to use my skills and experiences and abilities to make MYSELF look good. No wonder it's been so hard to find a good-paying job. I never felt like I deserved one!
This whole awareness process started with my SisterSpirit Journaling Group. This session, we are devoting a whole month to each of our chakras. So we started by journaling about our interaction with the Root Chakra's particular meaning and how it shows up in our lives... And since my Instructor says that the Root Chakra is the most solid, and thus takes the most time to really shift or change out of its current form, she gave us the homework of thinking/writing/doing yoga in connection with our Root Chakra every day for the whole month until our next Journaling Group meeting in May.
Now, I know I've been having Root Chakra issues. And reading about my right to have (as in-- have respect, have a safe & secure home, have a good-paying job that I love, have a relationship with someone who really appreciates me, etc) well, it really sank in that I have some foundation work to do-- some Root work, if you will. I've made a point of focusing on that stuff for a few minutes every day. And I can feel the difference. I'm a lot better grounded than I was a few weeks ago. Thank goodness, considering all the challenges that have come up since then.
Even the visit to the Family Farm couldn't have been better-timed. OH-- and I finally broke down and bought some freeze-dried nettle leaf capsules (instead of relying solely on my home-brew nettle tincture)-- and they are SO controlling my allergies with NO side effects!!! YAY for uninterrupted sleep!! (Except of course, that Abbigale continues to throw up a little too frequently this week, and I had to jump out of bed an hour before my alarm so I could give her some tummy meds-- which did work this time, thank goodness!)
May your Way be strewn with fulfillment, and the blessings of a life well-lived.
Thursday
Natural Processes
So March is, apparently, the month of the flu. As in, I caught it, and here we are ten days later, and I'm still not fully recovered. And I'm tired of it. Seriously. I have a life I'd like to be living-- or at least pursuing.
So I decided to pretend I was all better, in the hopes that believing would make it true, and because my parents were going to be in town for a visit, and I wanted to enjoy their company.
We decided to check out the Da Vinci exhibit. And it's pretty cool. They've recreated a few pages from his personal notebooks, one of which explores the way that a planet and a sun affect the light on another planet. VERY COOL to see that!! And they've rebuilt a bunch of the machines and concepts of flight, motion, and energy into little wooden examples-- with the same tools and materials that Da Vinci himself would have had access to. And you even get to play with some of the gears!! There are reproductions of his sketches and studies of the human body. And a whole room devoted to understanding the genius behind his painting, particularly the Mona Lisa.
Da Vinci was a pretty cool frood, really. He believed that we could learn to do anything that could be done in nature by observing how Nature does it. And so he spent hours and days and months observing the way birds fly, the way people exert force on a lever, the way toes are made to wiggle through their attachment to bone with fine sinews and fibers that direct movement. For Da Vinci, Mother Nature was the ultimate teacher, and he devoted a lifetime to Her lessons.
It was a valuable reminder to me that we can learn more than how to fly or be more efficient manual laborers. Nature also offers valuable lessons in anger management, hierarchy, family commitment, survival during times of drought or other hardships, and most importantly-- the lesson that there is a purpose to every thing. Rain nourishes plants so we have food sometime down the road. Cold weather keeps the snowpack from melting just a little longer, that maybe we won't have a drought this summer. The falling leaves offer insulation to keep Earth's creatures and plants from freezing when winter weather comes... Maybe there is a purpose to my enforced inactivity right now, too...
A room full of musical instruments and war machines later, and I was barely shuffling along, trying to put one foot in front of the other. I actually fell asleep in the restaurant over lunch, I was so exhausted by the outing. Three hours of standing around, and I slept the rest of the day and a full ten hours last night. I'm ready to have my energy back. I'm just not sure how to get it.
Well, to paraphrase Da Vinci's classification of people, there are those who understand, those who can be taught to understand, and those who will never understand. Maybe it's time I looked a little more closely at the processes of the Great Creator, and trusted more openly that a reason exists, whether I have the capacity to see it right now or not.
Blessings Be.
So I decided to pretend I was all better, in the hopes that believing would make it true, and because my parents were going to be in town for a visit, and I wanted to enjoy their company.
We decided to check out the Da Vinci exhibit. And it's pretty cool. They've recreated a few pages from his personal notebooks, one of which explores the way that a planet and a sun affect the light on another planet. VERY COOL to see that!! And they've rebuilt a bunch of the machines and concepts of flight, motion, and energy into little wooden examples-- with the same tools and materials that Da Vinci himself would have had access to. And you even get to play with some of the gears!! There are reproductions of his sketches and studies of the human body. And a whole room devoted to understanding the genius behind his painting, particularly the Mona Lisa.
Da Vinci was a pretty cool frood, really. He believed that we could learn to do anything that could be done in nature by observing how Nature does it. And so he spent hours and days and months observing the way birds fly, the way people exert force on a lever, the way toes are made to wiggle through their attachment to bone with fine sinews and fibers that direct movement. For Da Vinci, Mother Nature was the ultimate teacher, and he devoted a lifetime to Her lessons.
It was a valuable reminder to me that we can learn more than how to fly or be more efficient manual laborers. Nature also offers valuable lessons in anger management, hierarchy, family commitment, survival during times of drought or other hardships, and most importantly-- the lesson that there is a purpose to every thing. Rain nourishes plants so we have food sometime down the road. Cold weather keeps the snowpack from melting just a little longer, that maybe we won't have a drought this summer. The falling leaves offer insulation to keep Earth's creatures and plants from freezing when winter weather comes... Maybe there is a purpose to my enforced inactivity right now, too...
A room full of musical instruments and war machines later, and I was barely shuffling along, trying to put one foot in front of the other. I actually fell asleep in the restaurant over lunch, I was so exhausted by the outing. Three hours of standing around, and I slept the rest of the day and a full ten hours last night. I'm ready to have my energy back. I'm just not sure how to get it.
Well, to paraphrase Da Vinci's classification of people, there are those who understand, those who can be taught to understand, and those who will never understand. Maybe it's time I looked a little more closely at the processes of the Great Creator, and trusted more openly that a reason exists, whether I have the capacity to see it right now or not.
Blessings Be.
Monday
Almost October
The Autumn Wind is blowing, whooshing through dry leaves, and stirring up the dust. It is a warm wind tonight, strange for almost-October. It is a relief from the unmoving oppression of the summer sun that we continue to experience during the day.
I recently read Tarot for a good friend, someone who speaks the Pagan language of Earth and Energy and Elements and Change. She told me that the "homework" I had given her-- just hearing about the ceremony I described for her to do-- it had shifted the energy in her body. It had created the opportunity for the healing of a wound that she's slowly cleaned of all it's filth over the course of many decades. She was exhausted. She was excited. She was surprised that the ceremony I described, and the pieces of it that I suggested for her to perform or work into the whole, fit so perfectly her need.
It was a gift, her description. I give all of my Tarot clients "homework." It is always unique to them and their personal path to healing and positive change. It is always about moving energy and about communication and intentional connection-- with a partner, with our own bodies, with our feelings or fears, even with ancestors or animals. I hadn't thought too closely about these "homework assignments" other than to know that if the person could find the energy and the courage to do these things, however small they might be, a shift would occur.
Sometimes the work is as simple as picking a special scented candle, and lighting it for five minutes every night, at a time when that person knew she was safe. The bigger goal was to help her associate that smell with safety, so that she could eventually use that scent as a tool for managing her panic attacks. The first step was becoming conscious of the times that she did feel safe. Learning to recognize the good feelings, and finding a positive trigger to balance out the many negative triggers she holds in her subconscious.
Sometimes the work is harder. Asking the person you love to give you what you need. Just something small-- a hug, or to be left alone-- one thing every night, for a week. Learning that it is okay to ask. That it is okay to receive. That love is a two-way street, and being able to give is in equal importance to being able to receive. Or watching for the tell-tale gut-clench that always happens when you feel helpless and out of control. Learning to identify that physical feeling so that you can stop, and recognize the emotions underneath.
Or even intentionally giving up control of a project or activity to someone who may not do the job you would do on it, but will free you up to do other more important jobs. Yes, you could make that call and get the exact info you need in ten minutes. Yes, it'll take five to tell your assistant what you need, and it'll take her another 20 to get all the information-- 30 minutes of work for the ten minutes it'll take if you do it yourself. But that 30 minutes of work mean she can do the same thing for you in ten minutes next time around-- and you have five free minutes to spend somewhere else on your over-crowded work schedule.
Anyway, having these "homework assignments" explained as ceremonies that shift embodied energy was a really affirming thing. It clarified and increased the way that I value and offer these projects for my clients. It added to my resume. I offer personally tailored ceremonies to shift my clients' embodied energy into alignment with their higher purpose or goal. I offer opportunities to create space for the best self to develop. Truly, I offer healing when I Read Tarot, and my empathic listening skills are a central key to my work.
I thank the Goddess who set me on this path for the gift I now wield of embodying connection between injury and healing, between desperation and intention, self-exploration and universal knowledge. Wisdom and Intuition. Isolation and Acceptance. Loss and Love. Living and Growing/Changing/Improving.
May my blessings continue in the winter, and the new year that follows the old.
May my words and understandings continue to heal.
May all that is needed be known.
-SBE
I recently read Tarot for a good friend, someone who speaks the Pagan language of Earth and Energy and Elements and Change. She told me that the "homework" I had given her-- just hearing about the ceremony I described for her to do-- it had shifted the energy in her body. It had created the opportunity for the healing of a wound that she's slowly cleaned of all it's filth over the course of many decades. She was exhausted. She was excited. She was surprised that the ceremony I described, and the pieces of it that I suggested for her to perform or work into the whole, fit so perfectly her need.
It was a gift, her description. I give all of my Tarot clients "homework." It is always unique to them and their personal path to healing and positive change. It is always about moving energy and about communication and intentional connection-- with a partner, with our own bodies, with our feelings or fears, even with ancestors or animals. I hadn't thought too closely about these "homework assignments" other than to know that if the person could find the energy and the courage to do these things, however small they might be, a shift would occur.
Sometimes the work is as simple as picking a special scented candle, and lighting it for five minutes every night, at a time when that person knew she was safe. The bigger goal was to help her associate that smell with safety, so that she could eventually use that scent as a tool for managing her panic attacks. The first step was becoming conscious of the times that she did feel safe. Learning to recognize the good feelings, and finding a positive trigger to balance out the many negative triggers she holds in her subconscious.
Sometimes the work is harder. Asking the person you love to give you what you need. Just something small-- a hug, or to be left alone-- one thing every night, for a week. Learning that it is okay to ask. That it is okay to receive. That love is a two-way street, and being able to give is in equal importance to being able to receive. Or watching for the tell-tale gut-clench that always happens when you feel helpless and out of control. Learning to identify that physical feeling so that you can stop, and recognize the emotions underneath.
Or even intentionally giving up control of a project or activity to someone who may not do the job you would do on it, but will free you up to do other more important jobs. Yes, you could make that call and get the exact info you need in ten minutes. Yes, it'll take five to tell your assistant what you need, and it'll take her another 20 to get all the information-- 30 minutes of work for the ten minutes it'll take if you do it yourself. But that 30 minutes of work mean she can do the same thing for you in ten minutes next time around-- and you have five free minutes to spend somewhere else on your over-crowded work schedule.
Anyway, having these "homework assignments" explained as ceremonies that shift embodied energy was a really affirming thing. It clarified and increased the way that I value and offer these projects for my clients. It added to my resume. I offer personally tailored ceremonies to shift my clients' embodied energy into alignment with their higher purpose or goal. I offer opportunities to create space for the best self to develop. Truly, I offer healing when I Read Tarot, and my empathic listening skills are a central key to my work.
I thank the Goddess who set me on this path for the gift I now wield of embodying connection between injury and healing, between desperation and intention, self-exploration and universal knowledge. Wisdom and Intuition. Isolation and Acceptance. Loss and Love. Living and Growing/Changing/Improving.
May my blessings continue in the winter, and the new year that follows the old.
May my words and understandings continue to heal.
May all that is needed be known.
-SBE
Water
It's been a water weekend for me. Tea, drinking water, some flooding in my neighborhood, lots of rain, and a very runny nose (I have a bad head cold)...
Here are a few of the things I've been putting in my tea to help treat my cold:
-lavendar (antibacterial, soothing, tastes good)
-peppermint (helps with congestion, apparently)
-calendula (good for soothing membranes-- like the throat, nasal passages, skin, etc)
-mullien (this actually decreases swelling and encourages the expelling of mucus)
-slippery elm (soothes sore throats)
And it's definitely helped. But I'm still ready to be healthy again. Plus, I've got two home made cupcakes staring at me from the kitchen counter. I know that while I'm sick, eating sugar like that is B-A-D bad for me to do... but they are SO TEMPTING. sigh.
Sorry to be out of touch for over a month. It's the end of my semester, and I graduate soon. Also, my lease agreement runs out in a month or two, so I've been trying to plan for the next move. I'm a bit distracted, as a result. I'll try to be a bit more regular. I know it's disconcerting not to have regular updates.
Be well.
S.
Here are a few of the things I've been putting in my tea to help treat my cold:
-lavendar (antibacterial, soothing, tastes good)
-peppermint (helps with congestion, apparently)
-calendula (good for soothing membranes-- like the throat, nasal passages, skin, etc)
-mullien (this actually decreases swelling and encourages the expelling of mucus)
-slippery elm (soothes sore throats)
And it's definitely helped. But I'm still ready to be healthy again. Plus, I've got two home made cupcakes staring at me from the kitchen counter. I know that while I'm sick, eating sugar like that is B-A-D bad for me to do... but they are SO TEMPTING. sigh.
Sorry to be out of touch for over a month. It's the end of my semester, and I graduate soon. Also, my lease agreement runs out in a month or two, so I've been trying to plan for the next move. I'm a bit distracted, as a result. I'll try to be a bit more regular. I know it's disconcerting not to have regular updates.
Be well.
S.
Tuesday
Comfrey Ointment
Wanted to update all my loyal readers (I know, at that stage, I'm dreaming) about my forays into herbal healing. The comfrey ointment I made is a big success. My mom is so happy to have her own little container of it because she was always asking to use some of mine every time I visited. And it is good for so many different things!
Next up? Calendula Ointment!
Blessings Be
to You, from Me.
- Sprains, strains and bruises
- very shallow cuts and scrapes
- poor circulation
- bug bites (as a cream, it would be great for poison oak, too, I think)
- mixed with lavender EO it helps with scarring, too, if you catch it early enough
- and of course, dry cracked skin
Next up? Calendula Ointment!
Blessings Be
to You, from Me.
Timing
Had a funny experience yesterday. I've been working to key in on my intuitive voice lately, as you know, and yesterday I realized I'm actually making progress! See, my parents were delayed in meeting me for lunch yesterday (by a flat tire, no less!). They planned to call me when they were on their way again. The chatter in my head claimed that "oh, great, it'll probably be an hour or more!" But that was just chatter, so I didn't pay much attention.
Called a good friend on the phone to pass the time. Spoke with my friend for about 25 minutes, then told her-- "Well, I'd better get off the phone now so my parents can call." I hadn't really been thinking about the time passing. And since I have call-waiting on that phone, I was also not worried about missing their call... but suddenly it was time for them to call, and I knew it. We said goodbye, and hung up. Two minutes later, my parents called.
I had to laugh at the timing. And feel good that I'm doing better at listening to that little voice that KNOWS things. And ignoring the chatter that seems to always be there in the background. You know about the chatter. It's the voice that nags at you when you are late, that makes you feel foolish if your hair flops over your eyes, that always predicts dire consequences or tries to inflate your ego with stories about how cool you'll look if you take this stupid risk.
The intuitive voice is friendly, calm, quiet. It's easy not to hear when you are stressed, rushed, or preoccupied. It makes suggestions-- ones that may not even make sense logically... but that is the basis of intuition. It helps us prepare for eventualities in our lives-- or other peoples' lives-- that we don't even know are going to happen. Another example of this-- I am learning herbal healing. I know a little bit about a few things. It's how everyone starts to learn.
My parents are not so into herbal healing, though they aren't against it either. But for some reason, I felt it would be a good idea to bring one of my books on herbs and their uses to our lunch yesterday. And I'd no clue why. But I thought-- this is intuition speaking-- so I did. Turns out, my dad has a case of poison oak, and they wanted to know if a healing salve I'd used on mom's open sore (small surgery left a hole in her arm smaller than a dime) would help his sores dry up, too. But the worst thing you can do for poison oak (sumac, ivy, etc) is use an OIL-BASED healing agent.
Luckily, my book verified that another healing mix I had with me, called Kloss after the man who made it long ago, was perfect for the job. We tried it, and it helped dry up the sores and make his skin less red and angry. Until the poison oak went systemic. Then he needed an MD's help, and not an apprentice herbalist's.
Anyway, the points I'm making are these: I feel good that I'm finally starting to identify which voice is my intuition and which is just chatter; and that herbal healing is great for a lot of illnesses, but so is scientific medicine.
Oh, and the book? An excellent resource, recommended to me by an excellent herbalist.
Herbal Healing for Women by Rosemary Gladstar.
Called a good friend on the phone to pass the time. Spoke with my friend for about 25 minutes, then told her-- "Well, I'd better get off the phone now so my parents can call." I hadn't really been thinking about the time passing. And since I have call-waiting on that phone, I was also not worried about missing their call... but suddenly it was time for them to call, and I knew it. We said goodbye, and hung up. Two minutes later, my parents called.
I had to laugh at the timing. And feel good that I'm doing better at listening to that little voice that KNOWS things. And ignoring the chatter that seems to always be there in the background. You know about the chatter. It's the voice that nags at you when you are late, that makes you feel foolish if your hair flops over your eyes, that always predicts dire consequences or tries to inflate your ego with stories about how cool you'll look if you take this stupid risk.
The intuitive voice is friendly, calm, quiet. It's easy not to hear when you are stressed, rushed, or preoccupied. It makes suggestions-- ones that may not even make sense logically... but that is the basis of intuition. It helps us prepare for eventualities in our lives-- or other peoples' lives-- that we don't even know are going to happen. Another example of this-- I am learning herbal healing. I know a little bit about a few things. It's how everyone starts to learn.
My parents are not so into herbal healing, though they aren't against it either. But for some reason, I felt it would be a good idea to bring one of my books on herbs and their uses to our lunch yesterday. And I'd no clue why. But I thought-- this is intuition speaking-- so I did. Turns out, my dad has a case of poison oak, and they wanted to know if a healing salve I'd used on mom's open sore (small surgery left a hole in her arm smaller than a dime) would help his sores dry up, too. But the worst thing you can do for poison oak (sumac, ivy, etc) is use an OIL-BASED healing agent.
Luckily, my book verified that another healing mix I had with me, called Kloss after the man who made it long ago, was perfect for the job. We tried it, and it helped dry up the sores and make his skin less red and angry. Until the poison oak went systemic. Then he needed an MD's help, and not an apprentice herbalist's.
Anyway, the points I'm making are these: I feel good that I'm finally starting to identify which voice is my intuition and which is just chatter; and that herbal healing is great for a lot of illnesses, but so is scientific medicine.
Oh, and the book? An excellent resource, recommended to me by an excellent herbalist.
Herbal Healing for Women by Rosemary Gladstar.
Thursday
Herbal Blurbal
Did I tell you that I went to a Medicinal Herbs 101 class last weekend? Probably not. Well, I did. And it was so cool! I'm signing up for more. We didn't go into each plant so much-- there are just too many of them-- but we did go over basic terminology, the realities of working with herbs, and the how to of making your own medicinal teas, tinctures, balms, etc. We also got a short recommended references list, and a bunch of online resources. I am SO STOAKED! (wow, that word feels old)
If you are interested in classes, try your local community college, or check out Jo Powell's School of Herbalism and website at www.nwherbs.com. If you can't take it from her, she probably knows someone in your area that you can check with or learn from. I'm taking the Medicinal First Aid with Herbs class in a couple of weeks. I'm sure you'll hear about it.
So anyway, today I finally went to visit my local herb shop, and bought a few ounces of herbs to start playing with-- freshly dried so I know they'll be good for medicinal purposes for a few months here. I've started with a Comfrey Oil, which I'll turn into a balm once it's finished "cooking." And I'm about to try my first sips of my own medicinal echinacia and stinging nettle tea. Which I suspect I may have made incorrectly because if you're using the flowers, leaves, and basically the soft parts of the plant, you don't boil the herb with the water (this is called infusion)... but if you're using the bark, seeds, stems, roots, and basically woody/hard parts of the herb, you DO boil them in the water (called decoction)... And the echinacia I got was surprisingly woody-- (the whole plant is medicinal, and I think this herbalist collects the roots)... but I didn't boil it, as the nettle was a leaf, so...
Anyway, I love the idea of being able to take care of the smaller illnesses and injuries that come my way, without waiting for it to get "bad enough" to see an MD, without paying extra money, without taking a prescription medicine, and without worrying about the next apocalypse. Boy, I know I spelled THAT word incorrectly! Thank goodness for spell-check. And honey. Thank goodness for honey, too. Some of these herbs get kinda bitter. It's really nice to be able to add some honey to the tea and know you are actually doing yourself a favor!
Some Online Resources:
www.nwherbs.com --Jo Powell knows her stuff, and her classes just ROCK!
www.botanical.com --Has a decent Materia Medica (where you learn about the herbs).
www.herbs.org --scientific herbal research.
www.swsbm.com -- The Southwest School of Botanical Medicine by Michale Moore.
www.pacificbotanicals.com -- buy herbs, learn stuff.
www.theherbshoppe.net --The Herb Shoppe is a real store, with a great
and well-educated owner. A great resource person as well as a
great place to buy herbs and bases.
www.mountainroseherbs.com --good for herbs, great for essential oils (EO's).
www.herb-pharm.com --great for tinctures and good info available, too.
www.libertynatural.com --again, great for buying your herbs and other stuff.
www.frontierherb.com --this is the brand carried by most health food stores.
Great Books:
Herbal Healing for Women by Rosemary Gladstar.
From Earth to Herbalist: An Earth-Conscious Guide to Medicinal Plants by Gregory Tilford.
Aromatherapy: A complete Guide to the Healing Art by Kathi Keville & Mindy Green.
A Modern Herbal by Maud Grieve. (also available online at www.botanical.com).
Growing 101 Herbs That Heal by Tammi Hartung.
Anything by Michael Moore or Jack Green is also something Jo might recommend.
If you are interested in classes, try your local community college, or check out Jo Powell's School of Herbalism and website at www.nwherbs.com. If you can't take it from her, she probably knows someone in your area that you can check with or learn from. I'm taking the Medicinal First Aid with Herbs class in a couple of weeks. I'm sure you'll hear about it.
So anyway, today I finally went to visit my local herb shop, and bought a few ounces of herbs to start playing with-- freshly dried so I know they'll be good for medicinal purposes for a few months here. I've started with a Comfrey Oil, which I'll turn into a balm once it's finished "cooking." And I'm about to try my first sips of my own medicinal echinacia and stinging nettle tea. Which I suspect I may have made incorrectly because if you're using the flowers, leaves, and basically the soft parts of the plant, you don't boil the herb with the water (this is called infusion)... but if you're using the bark, seeds, stems, roots, and basically woody/hard parts of the herb, you DO boil them in the water (called decoction)... And the echinacia I got was surprisingly woody-- (the whole plant is medicinal, and I think this herbalist collects the roots)... but I didn't boil it, as the nettle was a leaf, so...
Anyway, I love the idea of being able to take care of the smaller illnesses and injuries that come my way, without waiting for it to get "bad enough" to see an MD, without paying extra money, without taking a prescription medicine, and without worrying about the next apocalypse. Boy, I know I spelled THAT word incorrectly! Thank goodness for spell-check. And honey. Thank goodness for honey, too. Some of these herbs get kinda bitter. It's really nice to be able to add some honey to the tea and know you are actually doing yourself a favor!
Some Online Resources:
www.nwherbs.com --Jo Powell knows her stuff, and her classes just ROCK!
www.botanical.com --Has a decent Materia Medica (where you learn about the herbs).
www.herbs.org --scientific herbal research.
www.swsbm.com -- The Southwest School of Botanical Medicine by Michale Moore.
www.pacificbotanicals.com -- buy herbs, learn stuff.
www.theherbshoppe.net --The Herb Shoppe is a real store, with a great
and well-educated owner. A great resource person as well as a
great place to buy herbs and bases.
www.mountainroseherbs.com --good for herbs, great for essential oils (EO's).
www.herb-pharm.com --great for tinctures and good info available, too.
www.libertynatural.com --again, great for buying your herbs and other stuff.
www.frontierherb.com --this is the brand carried by most health food stores.
Great Books:
Herbal Healing for Women by Rosemary Gladstar.
From Earth to Herbalist: An Earth-Conscious Guide to Medicinal Plants by Gregory Tilford.
Aromatherapy: A complete Guide to the Healing Art by Kathi Keville & Mindy Green.
A Modern Herbal by Maud Grieve. (also available online at www.botanical.com).
Growing 101 Herbs That Heal by Tammi Hartung.
Anything by Michael Moore or Jack Green is also something Jo might recommend.
Intuition and Healing
Okay. As we all know, I am searching for community. Last night, I attended my first "community event." Sister Spirit puts on regular monthly get togethers for whoever shows up-- with a set focus for each. The one I went to focused on healing. There were four of us. Three very awesome women, and me. I'm sometimes awesome, too. =)
I learned so much from the evening! It was my first group Circle, and I learned that I fall easily into meditation, but that most Circles bring a much greater depth to their Energy Calling. I felt a lot more energy in the circle than I've usually felt on my own. Not sure what I'll do with that knowledge, but I'm definitely going to be pondering it. I also got to hear some of the songs in my tradition. That was awesome. These songs are about evocation, and not about 2.7 minutes on the radio. And we did practice healing. We worked to help each other heal within the circle.
I learned that I'm actually more intuitive than I've acknowledged about pain. Other peoples' pain. And I'm less in touch than I realized with my emotions just lately. I definitely need to work more on that. What I don't know is how to use my energy and my Connection to heal once I find the pain. My gift is in seeing the potential, and what someone else will need to do or be to reach it. It's about helping others make their own efforts on their own behalf. And the healing circle is about making the effort that someone else is unable to make for themselves.
One woman in the group knows reiki, so she did some of that. Another has such connectivity with energy that you could feel her manipulating the chakra fields of the body as she worked. Anther simply takes your pains into herself. I'd like to help her find a way to then get rid of other peoples' pains, as she currently just lets herself suffer for you. I found that I can sense and do more than I expected, and that the things I do are things I've always done-- I just never saw them as healing, and I never acknowledged them as part of Circle Work.
It was just a great evening. A good start. I definitely look forward to another. I also definitely am working on making fewer assumptions about what I am or need to do or be-- and about how others will impact me when we come into contact. But that's my personal journey, and it's proving to be a real challenge. That just means the opportunity to learn and grow is itself also greater.
I learned so much from the evening! It was my first group Circle, and I learned that I fall easily into meditation, but that most Circles bring a much greater depth to their Energy Calling. I felt a lot more energy in the circle than I've usually felt on my own. Not sure what I'll do with that knowledge, but I'm definitely going to be pondering it. I also got to hear some of the songs in my tradition. That was awesome. These songs are about evocation, and not about 2.7 minutes on the radio. And we did practice healing. We worked to help each other heal within the circle.
I learned that I'm actually more intuitive than I've acknowledged about pain. Other peoples' pain. And I'm less in touch than I realized with my emotions just lately. I definitely need to work more on that. What I don't know is how to use my energy and my Connection to heal once I find the pain. My gift is in seeing the potential, and what someone else will need to do or be to reach it. It's about helping others make their own efforts on their own behalf. And the healing circle is about making the effort that someone else is unable to make for themselves.
One woman in the group knows reiki, so she did some of that. Another has such connectivity with energy that you could feel her manipulating the chakra fields of the body as she worked. Anther simply takes your pains into herself. I'd like to help her find a way to then get rid of other peoples' pains, as she currently just lets herself suffer for you. I found that I can sense and do more than I expected, and that the things I do are things I've always done-- I just never saw them as healing, and I never acknowledged them as part of Circle Work.
It was just a great evening. A good start. I definitely look forward to another. I also definitely am working on making fewer assumptions about what I am or need to do or be-- and about how others will impact me when we come into contact. But that's my personal journey, and it's proving to be a real challenge. That just means the opportunity to learn and grow is itself also greater.
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